Archive- seach for the perfect PJ's

Blog written by me under a different blogging name a year ago.....
Hope you enjoy

I was talking to my Mother In Law recently (and yes i was speaking to her by choice....my MIL is ok-ish but that's off the topic!) about my search for the perfect Pj's and that i was feeling a little depressed that most women may age (probably without kids) sleep in the nude or in pretty, sexy little numbers. I'm looking for the perfect pair of flannel Pajamas! I know, not very sexy but oh so warm!

It it concerning that i have hit my 40's twenty years early? Or is it more concerning that I'm turning into my mother!!??

I love my mum but she seems to get funkier as i get daggier!! THIS ISN'T FAIR!! Maybe its because now she is an empty nester and has time and funds to spoil herself rather shopping for clothes when they are on sale at Kmart.


I'm off to go get my lovely warm flannel jarmies on, then i might snuggle up on the lounge with a throw rug over my knees with a lovely hot cup of tea and a good book.

This getting old caper isn't all bad!!


Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

In pursuit of perfection.

In the past week i have had a number of emails from blog fans that are all about the same general topic, the idea of the perfect mum.

One fan posted a question on the discussion board of the facebook fan page asking for the definition of a perfect mum.

My definition.....hmmm... well we will get to that later.

It's not a recent thing for mothers expected to be "perfect"......this perfect by definition is,
A mother who:

• has cute, well behaved children who are are at least perfectly average (read NORMAL) in ever way
• fitted back into her pre-baby jeans a week after giving birth and boobs that sit where they are supposed to even while wearing a sheer shirt and no bra.
  
• has a house that looks like it could be from the pages of better homes and gardens
• juggles work and home like without one second of being so completely frazzled that she find herself at the shops buying cigarettes even though she "quit" five years ago
• who never spays perfume on the clothes she wore yesterday so that she can wear them again today
• Owns matching lingerie and is a minx in the bedroom
  
• always has matching socks
• has time to get her hair done before the re-growth starts making it look like a grey pancake is melting on her head
• Didn't poop or swear during labour
  
• children who are always clean and well dressed and actually wearing real clothes not their superman pj's at mid-day because they refused to take them off
• a wide social network of other perfect mums just like her who meet fortnightly to compete to see who is the most perfect mum.
• a loving husband who adores her and they never ever fight, about anything.....ever!

If this is perfect then I'm such a bad mum it isn't funny.....lol....ok maybe a little funny.
I wouldn't want to fall into the above definition of perfect...EVER!

One fan said she was worried about her MIL reporting her to DOC's (social services) because she is a terrible mother because her house isn't always spotless....
Mind you this same mum has a 2.5yo little man and a baby princess. She has a healthy home-made meal on the table for her family every night and the reason her house is because shes spending TIME and playing with her kids rather than being a house maid.


Do you think she sounds like a bad mum?

So confession time.

• I put dvd's on for giggle girl so i can check my emails
• I sometimes groan at the idea of reading her the same book again....for the 7th time that day
• I didn't put up Christmas decorations last year
• I sometimes don't shower everyday if I'm just chilling at home and I'm not getting dirty and sweaty
• I am bigger now than i was when i was nine months pregnant
• I swear.
  
• I haven't quit smoking even though I said I would (never around giggle girl, and not while I was pregnant)
• My hair is staying un-brushed today
• I don't own socks that match that don't have holes in them.....let alone matching underwear....I have some undies that the elastic has gone in the....but i still wear them
  
• I ask giggle girl is she wants to get dressed, most of the time she wants to.....if not.... oh well....her PJ's are cute

BUT!!!

• I play outside with giggle girl, we blow bubbles look at plants and the animals that are around us
• Her favorite food is strawberries
• We talk...... as a family, hubby included, about what we have done that day.
• If she wants my attention 99% of the time she has it immediately when she says mummy.
• My house might be messy but its clean! The mess its the toys we have played with or the drawings she has been doing. Shes 20 months old....her attention span isn't very long...which is good....neither is mine some days
• We read together, and daddy reads to her before bed.
• She is offered a variety of food, and most of the time she eats it, or will at least try it
• She is a safe secure loving environment, she is feed, clothes and shod.....it may not be with designer bands....buts shes 20 months old....!!

So my definition of a perfect mum....... YOU!
If you are reading this.....even while the TV is on to distract the offspring...You are spending your downtime thinking about your kids, you are researching things on parenting, you are looking at different ideas.
So i think you are doing a damned fine job


What do you think the definition of a perfect mother is?


Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

P.S If you are every having a day when you feel like a bad mum have a look at this page........you will feel so much better! :)

I'm part of the prozac nation.

Hi I'm Z and I'm on antidepressants.



And i know I'm not the only one.

This is only a recent development only since December and its only a very low dose, but its something i probably should have done years ago but tried to deal with it myself.

I have been a cutter since i was about 12. I had the perfect home life but was bullied continuously at primary and high school for various reasons. One day I started self medicating my pain inside by using pain outside to understand it.
I wasn't one of those annoying people who did it for attention, I lied, I hid it and I did it well. I made sure never to cat deep enough to leave a lasting scar. Even mum mum had no idea until 8 or 9 years later that it was even happening, ad we have a close relationship. I knew what i was doing would upset her so I didn't tell her and just came up with better ways of hiding it.

I have been told by a psychologist that although i am very mature for my age I am emotionally immature, I can't understand the more complex emotions I am feeling so lump them in to the basics....... happy, sad, angry and that's about it.

Its similar for me to the way I have heard anorexics describe their disease, its a power thing, if you cant control whats happening around you you can still control what goes into your body. I could control what happened ON my body.

For almost ten years I battled with this habit, its wasn't an obsession, more of just a bad habit when things got too hard.

I had ex boyfriends who threatened to leave me when they knew i was doing it if i did it again. I had one who did 10 cuts for every one of mine. It didn't stop me. I just became a better story teller about how i had hurt myself. always mundane things....blaming my clumsiness.....I don't know if i was always believed but i was never questioned further.

I never wanted to die, I just wanted to hurt.

I haven't done it now since i fell pregnant with giggle girl. I realised it wasn't about me anymore and i didn't want my child to pick up my bad habits.

The anti depressants were a trail thing to begin with, to see if depression was causing my weight issues. As soon as i started taking them i felt like the black tangled mess of string in my head unraveled. I was calmer and able to be in the moment more rather than thinking about what was next.

Since starting the meds i feel like i have been a better mother, a better wife and a nicer less angry person in general.

Its not a forever thing but its working for now, i don't want to spend the rest of my life relying on medication to keep me balanced.


Love and Smiles
Z
xox

Anti-Valentine

Well is Valentines Day, the day of the year where love and romance is celebrated by puppy eyed, mushy couples everywhere...BLEGH!

Can you tell....I don’t do Valentines Day!

My theory on romance and love is that if you want to do it, don’t wait for the day when florists bump up the prices. Do it just because, don’t wait till the greeting card companies tell you that you should!

Valentines Day should be re-named VD day as I bet there is more pity (or is it sympathy?) sex on Valentines Day than any other time of the year (except maybe New Years Eve)
I bet more STI’s and venereal diseases are exchanged than long stemmed roses!

Maybe the only positive point of Valentines Day is for those who are too scared to admit their feelings the rest of the year?

How do you feel about Valentines Day?

As always
Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

Photo blog 1

As I'm writing as an anonymous blogger it starts to feel, from a readers perspective, like it could all be well written fiction sometimes.

I thought i would share some photos with you to give you a view into my life without sacrificing too much of my (and my family's) privacy
Enjoy!






Our indoor picnic yesterday.






Giggle girl designing her own tattoo's already (she may want to keep working on it)









Dodgy photo sorry...... but this is why i don't do as many blogs as I would like....giggle girl stole lots of keys!









and finally........Moi! (before baby)





Love and Smiles
Z.
xox