Thursday, April 29, 2010

Frisky Friday- It's all about control

I have been speaking to a friend recently who said her husband is always harassing her for sex at the most inconvenient a mum of 3 she's not able to just "get in the mood" like a light switch is being flicked on.
Weeks ago i suggested that she encourage him to flirt with her more, many add in some cheeky bum pinching here and there, to make her feel more wanted.....lets just say he failed.....some men just can squeeze a bum and then walk she does have a rather cute backside!

So this blog is for her....and for everyone else who is sick of the men (or women) in your life holding the sex reigns. You are NOW in charge. This is your assignment...I'm all alone for the next few weeks so I'm not getting any lovin' so I'm going to live vicariously through your experiences.

This is my suggestion... But you can take control how ever you in mental emotional or physical...meow!

Step 1- Invent a character
A trick I learnt while working in strip club by creating a detailed character with a new name, new attitude and new confidence helps you to focus on what you are doing and limits that self consciousness that many women face when presented with new sexual ideas and challenges.
Maybe have him/her call you Mistress and Mistress only?

Step 2- outfitting- Pick your outfit
Choose something that you LOVE but may not always game enough to wear.
Remember your character, what would they wear? make up? hair? shoes? lingerie?
Hair, try a wig if you want a big change, you can get them from eBay for less than $30 for a good quality wig.
Make up, go for something different, red lippy, smokey eyes, scarlet nails and toenails, go all out....the getting ready process is all about you. If you aren't confident with applying your makeup in the style you want have a look on YouTube, there are some fantastic video tutorials for all different styles of makeup.
Shoes, high heels are a girls best friend when it comes to looking sexy. Just remember if you don't wear high shoes very often make sure that practice walking in the on the surface that you will most likely be seducing on. even practice walking in front of a mirror if you can to make sure you aren't walking like a truck driver.
Outfits, pick something that flatters the bits you like, loving your boobs but not your tummy and bum? a corset dress, love your boobs and bum but not your tummy? go topless with a under bust corset and a string of pearls.....try something different maybe? latex? nipple pasties? whatever floats your boat.
Have a look at the brand new facebook page of Ashanti Corsets (they are taking pre launch orders for Aussie customers but only until the 7th of May, VERY reasonable prices for beautiful things)

Step 3- props
Do you need any props to take control? Riding crop? handcuffs? silk scarves? or even the humble wooden spoon?
Make sure you get organised in advance, the last thing you need is to be hunting around trying to find things when you are all dressed up and in the right head space, BIG MOOD KILLER!

Step 4- putting it all in action
Have a plan. are you going to tie him to a chair, make him sit on the floor while you explain your rules, blindfold him if it makes you feel more comfortable. Remember this is about control.YOU are in charge. Do what YOU want (within reason!) Ask for what you want for once. Dont be afraid to ask him to go down on you if thats what you enjoy and it doesnt happen as often as you would like it to.

Step 5- bask in the serotonin and the POWER! lol

Step 6- tell me all about

Have a ball

Love and smiles

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I'm an attachment parenting failure!

Today is giggle girls first day at family day care..... she starts at nine and ends at four......7 hours without my baby girl.
And I'm ashamed to admit I'm a little bit excited.....and a whole lot of guilty!

I always said i wouldn't have someone else raising my child.....i know shes only going one day a week....shes hardly being raised by someone else but you all know how a mummy brain works sometimes.
But at the moment I'm a semi single mummy as Mr president is at sea, I have no family to help out and no nearby friends.....mummy just needed a break.

My plan is to get ALL the housework its not like I'm having a wild old time without giggle girl....I am being practical...

So what makes your mother guilt flare up? what makes you feel terrible even though you know you are doing your very best??

I will check back later and see what you all said.....this house wont clean itself!

Love and smiles

Monday, April 26, 2010

I'm not racist.....BUT......

I'm not a racist....BUT... {insert racist comment here}

How many times have you heard this? Its as if the "I'm not a racist" part negates the racist comment that follows it.

So here's my two cents worth...

I'm not a racist....BUT.....I am a stereotypist.....and not at all ashamed of it.

Let me explain

I don't care if you are black, white, Asian or purple with pink spots and 80 non-blinking eyes.
I don't care if you are rich or poor, old or young, fat or thin, single or married, gay, straight or transgender
If you are nice to me and treat me with respect i will treat you the same way.


I cant stand when people perpetuate negative stereotypes on purpose or use their race or situation as an excuse.

Some examples....

  • The single mothers who DO get pregnant to many different fathers just for welfare payments (sad but true)

  • Young mother who do stupid things with their children and then blame their age for not knowing any better.

  • Aboriginals who are drunk all the time and on the dole.

  • Asians who CANT drive to save themselves

  • Muslim men who do treat women like dirt

  • People who use their ethnicity as an excuse to play dumb.....I know a girl who was Korean and spoke perfect English but would pretend she couldn't if she didn't feel like talking to someone (actually that's kinda clever....may try that one day)

  • Italian or Middle eastern hoons who for some reason think its part of their heritage to drive like a moron.

  • Aussie bogans who expect everyone else to support their lazy lifestyles while they blame the fact that their mothers put their nappies on backwards when they were babies as a reason why they cant work for a living.

  • Stay at home mums that DO sit at home all day watching TV and bringing up TV addicted children
These people are a minority.

the reality is

  • Most single mothers weren't planing on doing it alone and circumstances have changed that plan, so they are doing the best they can

  • Most young mothers ROCK and make smart decisions to provide their children with the best lifestyle they can provide.

  • Aboriginal people who are well educated and making huge differences in not only the Indigenous communities but Australia as a whole.

  • Most people in Sydney cant drive to save themselves, no matter what their race.....I also have found Camry drives to be the worst of all!!

  • The Koran says to respect your mother before it says to respect your father. Men of all races and religions treat women like dirt. The fact that some Muslim women choose to cover their heads and bodies makes people assume that their husbands forced them into in when they made the choice themselves.

  • Car hoons all suck.....race doesn't come into it.
  • People who come from poorer areas with less than idyllic upbringings go on to do amazing things and work really hard to get there

  • ANY mum who puts their kids first is awesome (working or stay at home)
So what I'm getting at with all this rambling is that it doesn't matter what circumstances cause someone to cross paths with me, I try to take everyone on as individuals. Not because of what colour their skin is.

I hate people equally :) (lol I'm kidding)

P.s I do however judge men by their choice of footwear.... its a throw back to when I was single :)

 Good to be back

Love and Smiles


Thursday, April 8, 2010

Give away, for the not so average house wench!


What do you think? Not too shabby for a novice sewer!

and it can be yours....FOR FREE! 

(Aussies only for this one.....the next one will be international)

So here's how to to go in the draw

step 1- suggest/share the link to the squishybum mum facebook page or blog on your facebook page or invite your friends (or all three!!)

Step 2- fill out the quiz below (its about my blogs) and email it to and i will email you back  your entry number

step 3- keep an eye out on the 15th of April when i will be drawing a number out of a hat at random

I'm sorry that there is such a long process but i would like people to actually want to go to the effort to read the blogs rather than just entering to get something for free.

1- Which defence service did I serve in for a short period of time? (Army, Navy or Air force)
2- What does HED stand for?
3- What is the names I use to refer to my husband and daughter?
4- What type of weapon did i learn to shoot and in what year?
5- When did my breast milk supply start to dry up?
6- Which  company did I review and what was their website?
7- What are the things my daughter calls farties" really called?
8-Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? (ok so thats not in my blog.....but answer it
9- What sugary drink did a mother a friend of mine knows give her child to hype them up so that they would get a sugar crash and go to sleep?
10- what was the third lesson I learned on a big bight out?

Gotta be in it to win it!..... GOOD LUCK!

Love and smiles