Sunday, March 28, 2010

Sisters are doing it for themselves.

Sisters are doing it for themselves......and its all about them....
I have noticed a trend. Women are each others worst enemy.
If a guy doesn't like someone they don't speak to them or they duke it out and go back to beers. Women seem to keep their friends close and their enemies closer, so at least they are in the bitching loop.

When I was in the navy if I wanted to break the rules and sneak up to Mr Presidents room for some after hours snuggles I made sure I waited until it was all males on duty and then just straight out told them where I was going and why. If I went while there was a female on duty you can bet your bottom dollar that the next day I would be called into an office and be run in and charged for it. Why? Man code. Guys will lie to protect other guys. The blokes on duty knew if they dobbed me in Mr President would be in shit too.

So why is there no woman code?

Why are we all so keen to pick at the faults of other women?
It gets worse when you are a mother, there is an extra thing to judge you on. (even if you are doing a great job) along with judging you on the usual things. Hair, makeup, clothing, weight, intelligence, education, pay bracket, shoes, marital or single status, what car you drive, handbag you carry as well as how your partner fits into all of the above categories (other than makeup and handbags)

Why are we so keen to see the pitfalls of someone else? And once some women find a weak point why are they so quick to pick at that scab to see what's underneath?

Where's the support?

I have a friend who's son started school this year and she is known by the other school mums as the "weird hippy lady" because of the way she dresses and because she isn't interested on carrying a $300 purse to do the school run. Why isn't she known for being lovely and happy all the time, the mum that has all the time in the world for her kids and many of the other reasons why I think she's great.

I have heard that there are still examples of women supporting women, and I know some great women myself....but that is a minority. 

A group of mums I  know in Canberra is experiencing the biggest case of in-fighting, deception and backstabbing I have ever seen, and I should know, I went to a private school that was 90% girls.
i don't know and i don't really care who is to blame, put people are getting very very upset about  it, to the point where they are getting sick! 

Aren't there bigger things to worry about.

My mum always said when I was whinging as a teenager about how hard my life was, that if I wanted to see hard that she  would take me to the cancer ward of a children's hospital.

I think that a lot of mums need to re-think how they view others and maybe follow the old adage "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

and maybe if you think your life is scrapping so low that putting others down make you feel better about yourself, maybe your energy would be better put into use volunteering in a children's hospital. because god knows if you are low enough to bitch about them you need to move to a deserted island because there is no hope for you.

Love and Smiles

Friday, March 26, 2010

DIY prosta-tot........just go shopping.

Giggle girl needs new winter clothes but I'm having trouble finding any I like

see im not one of those fussy mums who's child has to look like a mini model. All I'm after winter clothes that are warm, durable comfortable and appropriate to a two year old.
because shes so tall and clothes are always funny sizes I like to have her there with me so I can check it against her but I'm thinking I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and buy from online WAHM's 

 The reason i ant find any clothes is because for some reason stores like Target, Myer, Big W, Kmart and Best and Less seem to think its a great idea to dress your child like a baby hooker!

I went to my good friend google and went on a search
and the first thing that popped up was Suri Cruise (surprise surprise!)
This is Suri, aged 3....wearing high heels carrying an $850 (US) handbag
Little Suri is everything that has gone wrong in society...and her parents obviously have more money than sense!
At three years old she should be playing in dirt ad playing mummy to dolls. The closest she should come to makeup is when she draws on the walls with her mums lipstick, not have her own makeup kit!

The range of winter clothes at target currently in size 3-7 are cute hippy inspired cotton prints and knit jumpers....these I don't mind some of the other items are hoochie-mama style puffy parkas with  tights covered in sequins....still not that bad, not fun for play but at least its warm.
The winter lothes that really bug me are the short shorts with tights and  boots, the mini skirts, school style slutty dresses and the diva style barbie range they have that is all fake furs and hemlines that don't leave much to the imagination. 
And that's the winter stuff......summer is 100x as bad!

What happened to jeans and along sleeve shirt with trainers? or a tracksuit without anything suggestive on the bum?

Why aresome people in such a hurry to make mini adults out of children.....who buys these things?
I remember a couple of years the uproar about target stocking padded bras and g-strings for kids....its a revolting concept....but i want to know who buys them? They wouldn't stock them if there wasn't a demand. who is after a g-string and matching padded bra for a 5 year old??!!

Then have a look at these gems I found

and finally this classy gem (I will write a whole blog on slogan shirts another day)

What are the worst items you have seen for kids to wear?

Love and Smiles

Perfectly different - guest blog/rant by TantrumMaumma

As a first time parent you seem to rely on the books and the net and other people for advice on when your child should be meeting certain goals. We did this with families’ friends and the health nurse. Our son met some milestones before expected some on time and some a lot later than expected.
We had experienced some strange behaviour from our son, but all in all we were told he was developing fine and there was nothing to worry about.

In my heart I knew there was something different about him, he would headband when he was frustrated but I kept telling myself that it was normal, he would scream if any one he didn’t know touched him, he had what I know is sensory problems, he hated the vacuum, the aeroplanes, and the traffic, as he got a bit older there were a few more problems added to the list, one in particular my son doesn’t like crowds, he will close his eyes and rock, this happens on the bus if there are lots of people.

We have been through 2 paediatricians to try and work out why my son, barely talks, and why he has what I used to call strange habits, my son wouldn’t play with toys no matter how shiny, how much noise they made, or how much they lit up, he would just throw them. He would line up things we had in the house for example tuna cans, or play with door hinges. They were his toys.

It wasn’t until we became involved with Child protection, that any one listened to my concerns, apparently its not perfectly normal for your toddler to put their hand on the glass of a oven while its roasting hot and not notice there hand had been slightly burnt, or be in the shower and turn off the hot tap and not notice the water is stone cold and still be standing in there.
Child protection arranged for us to see the pead at the local hospital, who said she would do future assessment with my son, and referred him off to early Intervention. We are still on the waiting list a year on for services such as occupational therapy and speech therapy. That Pead shortly afterwards left the hospital and referred us off to a different pead who actually gave us answers and path ways to help.

The new pead told us our son has speech delay he has approx. 20 words not all clear enough to be understood and uses maybe 3words in a sentence but that is not very often it’s more like a once in a while thing. 
Our son also has Autistic traits and will be getting a full on assessment in August shortly after his 3rd birthday. We have been referred off to a specialist play group where we can meet with families going through the same thing and meet with some early intervention workers.

Some of the most hurtful things that have been said in recent times is that I caused my son’s disability. 
Why on earth would I do something like that for? 
I’ve been told that I have feed him to much gluten. 
That he is disabled because I fully vaccinated him – I know people have their thoughts on vaccination and that is okay I don’t push my beliefs on you and you shouldn’t do the same to me, the repost linking vaccinations to Autism was recently retracted. 
I’ve been told I wasn’t nice enough to my son while I was pregnant. 
I’ve been told god is punishing me for having a bastard child. 
I’ve been told that I can cure my son with magic pills and diets and stupidly expensive “doctors”. 
Autism was genetic there is no way you can catch it from my son, he is not a freak, nor should he be cured, He’s not naughty he is misunderstood and Autistic. 
(We call him Autistic because it’s easier than explaining that he has signs and hasn’t been diagnosed yet) 
No matter what you or anyone else thinks my son is an amazing person he is a bright kid and he is human. I love him just the way he is and he is perfect.
We found this website to be very useful
I also support this charity and hope when my son is old enough he can go on that this camp They also have a great section on forgiveness
They saying that has stuck with me from the start of all of this is “EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT IN THE END, IF IT HASN’T ITS NOT THE END”
Thank you for reading,

With love TantrumMaumma

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Guest Blog- Tarja- A day in the Family with Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasia (HED)

A day in the Family with Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasia (HED)

I am fortunate that my day starts at 7am, my children like to sleep in. 
The last night was relatively good, only three wakings which helped. Nathanael has many problems with painful stools because his intestines are scarred, this all contributes to frequent wakings at night. His belly can get quite sore and just passing wind is scary so he cries until it's done and falls asleep almost instantly.
Matthew doesn't wake as often anymore but he still comes wandering into our bed to warm up. 
Sebastian has worked out how to get comfy so he hardly ever comes anymore

See, my three boys can't sweat, so we keep them at a comfortable temperature of 25 degrees Celsius at home. 
Overnight though, as they slow down and fall asleep, the heat they generated all day during play and school just goes away. 
Like a stove, which goes out overnight, the fires within just die down and more often than not, they wake up because they are cold. 
No Goosebumps, no body hair, no real shiver means it would take a lot of exercise to get warm again. Not ideal in the middle of the night so a visit to mum and dad's cosy bed is just the ticket.
So, morning time, I get the lunches ready for School. 
No egg, nuts, oranges, tomato or sesame snaps for Matthew, don't want to use the epipen just yet (or ever).
Peel and cut the apple,Ectodermal Dysplasia gives the lucky few some teeth but they are not ideal to "cut" and "grind" with. The Incisors are pointy and the molars (if they get any) don't usually have a partner underneath so grinding food is a hassle. 
I remember way back, my apples used to look like Vlad had a go at them, neat little rows of holes all round :) very cute. Sebastian liked to suck the juice out of them via the holes he punced into the skin of the apple.
Matthew and Nathanael need their daily application of cream. Matthew has been taking tablets to controll his eczema and Nathanael gets the liquid version but some persistant spots remain and they need treating. 
There was a time Doctors would declare that they had never seen a case of eczema as bad as my boys'. 
How fortunate are we,that it is under control right now. 
Nathanael's just won't heal though. Even with the daily antihystamine and the steroid every other day he just can't leave it alone. 
His feet and the backs of his knees are red raw from yet another night of scratching. I have since found out that it is his intestinal pain which makes him scratch to try and get rid of it.

Breakfast, weet-bix and milk and oh my gosh, bus time for Sebastian. 
Hope it is not too hot already, he has a bit of a walk to get there. 
I'll pack his cooling vest just in case. Off he goes.

"Matthew, your transport is here." 
Matthew is Autistic so he has a slightly different way to school than his big brother. High functioning means that he can communicate and hold limited conversations but he is totally freaked out by the bus. Taxi to school and home, solved a whole lot of anguish for all of us.
And here I am, left with the twins. 
One with and the other without HED. 
The airconditioner has been on for the better half of the morning already and I think we will have to turn the other one on too if the heat keeps going up. 
We don't play outside very often, catch us on cool days or when it's dusk. 
We limit excursions to one or two shopping locations as the car heats up so bad inside the boys just hate getting back in and they overheat. 
All in all, we live life together to the max, we are not very social beings but we do like the odd visitor (have to be odd to understand us ;) ) We are, after all, a "normal" family.

This blog was written by Tarja.
for more information please check out the "I have HED" facebook page.
a has also written a childrens book about HED to help children to understand why HED suffers look different to other children and to help remove the stigma of HED

What is the collective noun for multiple ramblings...?

It's been a little while and I'm really sorry..... Computer issues, lack of time and a shit load of other factors are to blame.

There is some big new news. There is a new member in the squishybum facebook family. 

I thought I should explain a bit more about this page.
Before I was a mum I was fashionable. I showered daily and my undies matched my bra. 

(Now I'm lucky to remember to out on a bra when I leave the house! ...Yes I am one of those free rotted women you see at the supermarket at about 7pm rushing around getting things that were too hard to get when I have giggle girl with me) 

But then when I gave birth something happened. I just didn't care anymore. I was a mum before I was me. I was tired. I was uncomfortable with my new body and it was too much effort to get dressed up if I was just going to get spewed on ten minutes later.

Giggle girl is almost two. (end of June) so I have got a bit sick of looking every inch like a slummy mummy. 
And it's time for change.

The squishybum emporium is for crafty and talented mums (plus me) to show what they can do and offer it for sale. I don't make any money from the page unless I sell my own items. 

I have noticed that there are so many facebook pages selling items for kids or kid safe items for mums. 
And there is nothing wrong with that. 
I just want to get things for me. 
The me that is not just a mum but a person as well. I want pretty things and I want to go to one place to find them! 
I also want to buy from Aussie work at home parents who don't have time to run a who business but create funky fun one off items. So I know if I go somewhere someone else won't have the same thing as me (god that's so annoying!)

So I'm making it my mission to get myself out my mummy rut.

For a few days last week I was teetering on the edge of mummy burnout.
I have read a few articles that talk about this but they only ever mention working mums. It's assumed that stay at home mums aren't entilted to suffer from mummy burnout as we don't work a "real" (paid) job. 

What a load of horse poo! 

I work harder now (and longer hours) than I ever did working full time. Even the period when I worked from 6pm to 5am then went to my second job from 7am to midday wasn't this demanding.
Don't get me wrong. I love being a stay at home mum BUT I wish that more people would recognize that it's hard work and that there is no sitting watching TV all day in the job description. When I do watch TV it's with giggle girl and I spend mist of the time jumping around playing with her singing the songs and practicing the counting or actions they are doing.

I think part of the burnout spiral for me was frustration  that I had let go of the old me so much so that I was unsure who I was if you took giggle girl out of the equation there was nothing left....I was just an empty shell
So what I have to figure out is how to rediscover me as well as being mum at the same time.

Any tips? experiences? anything you would like to share with  the class (lol)
Love and Smiles

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The list

I had planned on putting this up a few weeks ago...but kept coming across other blogs with a similar idea so i put it off....
This was written almost 5 years ago now.....its not a new thing at all

so here it is....the list!

I wrote this after ending an abusive relationship (years before meeting Mr president
I'm slowly ticking things off and when i get to the end, I write a new one and start again!!!
whats your list of things you want to do before you die???


The list.


What I want in a partner.
*Someone who will be themselves
*Respect me and my opinions even if they don’t share the same
*Not be closed minded
*Love me for who I am and not expect me to change (too much)
*Have direction in their own lives
*Love me for my mind but love my body as well
*Be accepting of my appearance the way it is
*Compliment often but constructive criticism given if needed (in a thoughtful way)
*Be secure in themselves and our relationship
*No violence towards me or anyone/thing important to me
*Affectionate (the smallest actions can sometimes mean the most)
(all done in 2007...Mr President)

The end goal
I do want to get married have a family and settle down. That doesn’t mean I want to ever be boring. I want to have fun for the entirety of my life, regardless of the stage I’m in. I would want a life for my children similar to my own upbringing. I was always told I have anything in life that I wanted as long as I worked hard and put my mind to it and I would want my own children instilled with the same self belief.

*Ride an elephant in Thailand
*See the Taj Mahal at sunrise or sunset
*Sail around the Greek islands (topless)
*Dance at carnival in Rio
*Go to a B and S ball in rural Australia
*Climb Everest.
*Go swimming with sharks off the coast of Africa
*Visit Auschwitz and Changi concentration/death camps
*Kayak in New Zealand
*Drive a vintage convertible along the coast of California
*Go to the red square in Russia
*see the Louve museum
*See the ruins in Cambodia
*hike to Muchu Pichu in Peru
*experience Venice before it sinks
*walk the Kokoda trail

*Learn to shoot a gun, accurately (2007, austyer )

*Pose naked for a men’s magazine
*Elope (to Vegas??)
*Re-learn the double bass
*Have salsa lessons
*Speak a foreign language moderately well (2007...Indonesian... and the navy paid for me to do it)

*Get a tattoo (2007)

*Save someone’s life
*Write a self help book
*Fall in love again every single day with the same person (2007)
*Give a million dollars to charity
*Convince someone else to get my name as a tattoo
*Kayak grade 5-6 in New Zealand
*Streak through a sports match….doesn’t matter how big or small the game is…extra points if I get arrested!!
*Give birth -2008

Monday, March 15, 2010

I wish I had known.....

There are so many things I wish I had know before having giggle girl and as I have many friends who are pregnant at the moment (for the first viable time, I don't want to say the first time as this implies that their angel babies never existed) so I have been asked for quite a bit of advice recently so I thought I would share my thoughts and encourage anyone who reads this to do the same.

As a fairly young first time mum there were some things that are learnt on the job and some are hindsight

- I wish I had heard about MCNs (modern cloth nappies) I didn't find out about these until giggle girl was over a year old and it seemed a bit late in the game to get some. I wish I had known about these and used them from the beginning.

-I wish I had known about ways to stimulate the production of breast milk when mine started to "dry up" at around the five month mark (lucky I had a months sully in the freezer) I wouldn't have given up so easily had I known there was ways to improve the situation

-I wish I hadn't bothered to buy a pram until she was no longer interested in being worn. I did have a sling but it wasn't right for my height and build so I found it uncomfortable and cumbersome. The mei tai style wrap sling things look fantastic and so comfy for mum (or dad) and bub.

- I wish I hadn't spent $150 on the very cute Moses basket for her as a newborn (that now stores her teddies) Co bedding is so much easier! (I will admit to laziness here) and made nighttime feeds in winter for everyone involved! All I had to do was unclip my maternity bra and then go back to sleep. She would feed and drop off back to sleep with zero complaint or disruption. Ahh bliss!

- I wish I hadn't been so hard on my self in those early days and just enjoyed her being so little rather than worrying about how clean the house was (or wasn't)

- I wish I had had a mirror in the labour room thingy so I could have seen the moment that she entered the world.

- I wish I had taken more than one photo of me breastfeeding her. Not only for a beautiful reminder but also to put on facebook to show that breastfeeding isn't obscene.

In saying all of that I did so many things o am proud of....but I will save that for another blog.

What do you wish you had known as a new mum??

Love and smiles


Bugger having a dream.....I have a PLAN!!...Part 2!

(please read part one here)

Last Friday was my 24th birthday.

In the few years that I have been an adult I have been a busy girl. I have done all the "normal" things people my age do. I have worked long hours, drank until ugly people look hot, bought shoes because they were on sale even though they didn't fit and eaten my body weight in chocolate.
But I have done some thing many 24 year olds are yet to do. I have have gotten married, I have had a baby, I understand the terms co-bedding, baby wearing and lactivist, I have had the sleepless nights when giggle girl is sick (even if she is sleeping fine) and I think that dribbly kisses are the best. I have also breastfed in public. And I'm dammed proud of it!

I fed in public where it suited me. I loved getting a hot chocolate and feeding in the coffee shop. I never covered up, I wanted to see her beautiful face. I even feed in the defence boozer (cross between a pub and social club for defence members and their families)
I waited to be criticized for it. I feed with defiance knowing I was doing the right thing for my baby. I wanted other younger mums to realise that it was ok. You don't need to feed in the smelly baby change rooms if you didn't want to.
The criticism never came.
I don't know if it was because of my body language, I was just lucky or if the "fuck off" look on my face if anyone came near put people off commenting.

What I would like for my 24th birthday is that the stigma of breastfeeding is removed. I know it won't happen overnight but by my 30th birthday I want to not be able to find a breastfeeding discrimination article in newspapers or on the Internet.

I want people to realise that breast feeding in public is not about exhibitionism or attention seeking. It's not about anyone else except mum and bub (or bubs if you have mad boobie skills!) 

The sad thing is in the last week a mum had her facebook account disabled for having a photo of her breatfeeding her baby on her profile.....facebook deemed it as obscene
Please read her note to get all the details and see what facebook WILL allow HERE

Its not about if you personally want to feed in public or post your own breastfeeding photos.
but for all those with daughters do you want her to feel like a social outcast if she breastfeeds her own child, your grandchild?
Do you want her to be able to show you photographs from the other side of the world or country of how proud she is of her achievement, how she is doing what her body is designed to do.
Do you want her to be to be thought of as obscene and pornographic feeding her baby.

This is not about us now....this is about our daughters, and our daughters-daughters.....

What kind of world do you want your grandchildren born into??

Love and smiles

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Living in a bubble.

I used to be in the Royal Australian Navy (RAN)
I worked my butt off to get in, I lost 30kg, I ran evey day, I did push ups during the ad breaks on tv, I harassed defence recruiting for 9 months to get in to the specialist position that I wanted. I spent just as long trying to get in as I spent as a serving member.

In the nine months I was enlisted I got married, met some great friends, got fit and worked on my pelvic floor exercises during drill instruction. I had the normal ups and downs but things came to a head when I fell pregnant.

I had failed my course after we had gotten married hoping that I could get a transfer of category to be in a position where mr president and I could be posted to the same location. I was in the process of organising my removal to another base hen I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't exactly planned but wasn't unplanned and definately not unwanted.

The first thing that happened was that when I announced my happy news I was told by my boss (at that stage an army sargent as I was at a tri-service establishment) that I had to make a choice between my job and having a family. I believe that this was a suggestion to have the pregnancy terminated.

I was then moved to a different base (HMAS Cerberus) in Melbourne. The primary training facility for the RAN and put into a holding division while they decided what to do with me. To begin with I was willing to change jobs and move to a different category to continue my training but there was no way that they could promise that I would even be posted in the same state as mr president, let alone the same city!
So I applied for discharge.

I was coping fine untill mr president was posted to his new location. By that stage we had been married over two moths and still hadn't lived together.
Once he moved I was isolated. None of my friends where there, no family, no husband and no support. I began to struggle.

I asked for help. I spoke to my superiors, I spoke to the chaplins and I spoke to the psychs asking for help. Asking for strategies to deal with my all consuming lonliness, the stress that was building and my fears of what could happen to my baby if I continued to feel that way.

Finally it all came to a head after I had been alone for well over a month. I spoke to the Chaplin and told him that I had a history of self harm and I was worried.
As soon as the buzz words (self harm) was mentioned the started rolling.

I was immediately admitted into the base hospital. Put on suicide watch and banned from talking to anyone. I had every officer on duty came and see me, not to offer assistance but to gawk at the knocked up "crazy" chick. I had almost zero privacy as I was in a glass walled room and once they had all had their fill I was left alone. Completely alone. Untill sometime later the next day.

The phych I had spoken to earlier came up to see me band she was so frustrated with the system an wanted to get me out. But as the doctor on duty the night before had decided that I needed to seek further phychological treatment she was tied by the system and unable to do anything.
My appointment with the psychatrist wasn't booked until a week later. During that time I had no belongings, no visitors (except for the occasional medical stuff doing checks and the food delivery person) and no answers.
The reason I was struggling originally was that I was felt alone. Now I really was completely alone.

I asked to go get some clothing underwear and toiletries and was told I couldn't even do that even if I was escorted. So a male trainee medic was sent to my room to riffle though my things and bring me back some underwear. Humiliating to say the least.

A few days before the big appointent I had a bleed. I buzzed a nurse and when one showed up eventually asked if I was due for my period. When I explained that I was 9 weeks pregnant she scoffed and asked to see the blood in my underwear. They didn't even believe me. (luckily the bleed was minor and giggle girl is obviously thriving now but at the time it shocke me to the core.)

Eventaully when I went to see the phycharitrist he deemed me no risk to myself or others and was appalled about the way I was being treated. I also beloved that he wrote a verystrong worded letter to the hospital, my officer in charge and the navy phychs letting them know what he had observed and how inhumane my treatment was.

As soon as the letter had been recieved my discharge paperwork was rushed through and I was discharged in 3 days. Although I never had an exit interview, which is compulsory, which is a chance to air any issues with a unbiased person. I supposed I don't blame them. Some people would have been in BIG trouble.

I have considered contactiong a current affair or similar tv programs to tell my story. But as mr president is still a serving member I don't want to cause problems for him.

So that's my anti-fairytale start to my pregnancy. Luckily the rest was without issue and giggle girl is the light of my life.

Love and Smiles

side note: this was not the only issue I would have aired at my exit interview. I was also sexually harrassed and felt up by another member (not mr president, that was consentual lol) but it was delt with very badly and I was extremely annoyed about it. I was also asked by my recruit instructor to give him a lapdance and then offered alchohol to keep quiet.
Ahhh gotta love the puss!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Bugger having a dream.....I have a PLAN!!

After reading this blog i started thinking (for those who know me will giggle at that)

I dont breastfeed anymore.... but i did...and I'm kicking myself that i never took breastfeeding photos! 
I wanted to promote awareness and remove the stigma of breastfeeding, especially in public.
I had no idea what to do until I saw this picture on a fans page 
(I have no idea who did it...if anyone knows let me know so I can give them full credit!)

Then my BIG idea hit me like a tonne of boobs!

This idea I have is not about if you breast feed bottle feed are male or female....even if you dont have children you can still be involved in this.

I'm after three things
  1. support.....I need this to go viral! I need this to be passed on to every breastfeeding supporter all over the spread the word
  2. Entrants....more details on that in a second...
  3. Companies, WAHM, websites that would like to donate prizes and also act as judges.... I know its a big ask but its a great cause!
Entrants....well this is where the big idea comes into it...
I want to run a breastfeeding awareness campaign and (hopefully if enough businesses get involved) competition.
There will be a number of categories.
  • Beautiful breastfeeding photos.
  • Breastfeeding blogs, poetry or other written material.
  • Breastfeeding art (paintings, drawing, sculptures...anything except photos...that has its own category)
  • Breastfeeding awareness clothing design (as well as photos of it being worn IN PUBLIC)
  • PUBLIC group events to gain awareness.
  • And an "other" category....for everything else.
So get your arty hat on and get creative.
So are you in??

Love and Smiles

Please email me if you want to be involved

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Blogs of note!

I asked all the fans of squishybum mum on facebook to add the details of their blog to a discussion thread.
Gotta share the love!

so here are some blogs of note...feel free to add yours as a comment
(wholistic parenting, mental health issues)

Random eclectic blog- the musings of a mum

 its mostly about raising my munchkins, cloth diapers, babywearing etc 
 Attachment and natural parenting, non vaxing, recipes, crafts, home safety, a little bit of everything!

 The trials and tribulations of a single "accidental" mommy - both of my babes were conceived on hormonal birth control....Rants and raves humor, recipes, reviews... really it's a little of everything

Im also adding a random one that i came idea about who writes it but it made me giggle
Its like the Aussie version of sex and the city...with less

Hope you enjoy  having a read though these as much as I did!
Love and Smiles

To petite to push?

I recently spoke to a friend of mine who is finally pregnant after a lot of terrible experiences and losses over the past few years.Im so exited for her because I know that she has done everything thing she possibly can to ensure that she has a healthy viable pregnancy, she quit smoking, changed her lifestyle and worked really hard so that she could come off her anti-depressants. I'm so proud of her1

But something she said disturbed me. Her doctor has told her that she should book into for an elective cesarean.....because she is too small to have a natural birth. Shes only 20 weeks pregnant!!!

She is a very petite person (about 5ft tall and I'm guessing a size 6-8) but I was a similar size when I fell pregnant with giggle girl (I then went to to gain a shitload of weight  to become the Squishybum mum I am today) 

I am so annoyed at her doctor,  how can they take away her power so early. They have basically told her don't even bother won't happen. How dare they! This woman has worked so hard to get the baby that she has dreamed of for so long, so for them to be dismissing her birthing ability before the event can't help her self confidence. (and how would they know anyhow....shes only half way would they have a clue how big bubba is going to be...or how small...

I spoke to another friend of mine who wrote a previous guest blog for me, Aus gaia ...She was told by the sonographer, when she was pregnant with her second child, that there was no way that she could give birth vaginally....he was too big and her pelvis would be most definitely break in the process and she would end up in a half body cast. She ignored him.
It took her only 1.5 hours to give birth to her son she walked down to the sonographer with a midwife and said..."I told you so!...after which he was suspended (he had been calling her at home telling her she HAD to have a C-section.
So I would like to hear some positive stories for my friend, to let her know that just beause she is petite doesn't mean that she cant have the birth that she wants.

To my friend, Bi....this is what I want to say to you....You are one of the strongest women I know, you have been through so much already and for let some doctor try to tell you that your body is incapable of doing what it was designed with the primal function to do is revolting! YOU CAN DO THIS!

Love and smiles

Sunday, March 7, 2010

review 1- Joli Natural

On Friday a package from Jodie at Joli Natural full of scrummy samples for me to try and review for you.

I should add at this point that I am not paid to do reviews, I don't take bribes, i cannot be convinced to put my name on the line for the sake of any product if i don't like it!

First of I will give you some details about joli Natural  products are FREE from SLES / SLS [sodium laurel / laureth sulphate], propylene glycol and parabens. So no chemical nasties in them. Annnnnnndddd....unlike other skin care Joli Natural Skin Care products are ‘made to order’ to suit individual skin type, custom blend, fragrance choice etc. Expertly made in small batches to give you great quality, fresh, natural skin care. BLISS!

In my little post parcel of goodies there were things for me, things for giggle girl and things for the anti-metrosexual Mr President.

The first thing we tested out was the Decadent Bath Melt Bar (seduction) Giggle girl was in bed and as soon as I noticed it said it was safe for use on intimate areas I dragged Hubby off to the shower with me to see how much fun it could be. OH MY LORDY LORD! It smelt divine, it felt divine and the details were correct...very safe for imitate areas.... and oh so much fun (its an added bonus my skin was all soft and i smelled lush all skin on OTHER parts of my body....dirty minded....) For $5.95 bar I'm going to put in a BIG order.

after testing the bath melt bar i kicked hubby out of the shower and started testing my sample of  the Herbal Shampoo Bar. My sample was about a 1cm I wanted to see how many washes I could get out ofit.
So far I am up to 4 washes on my hair and one wash of giggle girl's hair. The first wash took me a bit to get used to the fact that it doesnt foam as much as chemical shampoos...or maybe because I had bath melt bar in my hair...(hehe...) but it was just a Meh the first wash (well first two washes.....I double wash my hair as it gets so greasy so fast) but out of a 1cm cube i got 6 washes of my hair (shoulder length medium thickness) plus one wash of giggle girls hair. My hair is cleaner, it takes longer to get dirty and I didnt even have to use conditioner. One bar would last AGES and its only $3.95 a bar!

I also used the shaving cream- amazing...fastest shave i have ever had....Its safe for intimate areas so that's where i used it...I already had shaving rash, it felt soothing and didn't irritate the damage I had previously done.

I also tried a heap of  other other products so I will write up a second blog at a later stage......
In the meantime If you are temped by these products so far make sure you check out the Joli Natural webpage.

Love and Smiles

Friday, March 5, 2010

Frisky Friday- feeling flat?

* Yes I know....Yet another list....I LOVE lists!

Every relationship has peaks and troughs, sometimes these are caused buy natural hormonal changes other times sleep deprivation (the joys of being a parent) sometimes its just not a priority to one or both parties. One very common reason is because of self confidence.
Almost every woman goes through a stage where they don't feel particularly confident, be it after baby, after weight loss or gain, surgery, scaring or just as gravity taking its toll on your body.

Just because you aren't loving YOU at the moment doesn't mean your partner feels the same about you. So to get your frisky on and start to feel better about yourself here are some tricks and tips.

  • Candles- every one looks stunning in candle light and there is something about the flickering light that candles produce that makes you think of romance and puts you in the loving mood.(I am going to do a review of a Aussie soy candle maker's candles in the coming weeks)
  • Blindfold him- rather than trying to keep your body contorted in uncomfortable positions that you think hide the bits you don't like. blindfold him.....losing the sense of sight enhances all the other senses. (or even better get him to blindfold you and get  him to tease you silly.
  • Flirt- a naughty grope and fondle in the kitchen when the kids aren't looking adds suspense to what is coming later.(or who is coming later...) My favorite trick is to "accidentally" back on to his groin while hes doing something mundane....(he forgets what hes doing sometimes and gets all confused
  • Make a game out of it- if you are too afraid to ask for something specific write down all your ideas and get your partner to draw on out of a hat, one a day, one every second decide the frequency....when you have done all the ideas get him to put his ideas in the can set up ground rules about things you are definitely sure you don't want to do.
  • Hold out- do EVERYTHING except  have sex. Foreplay is often rushed and just seen as an entree to the main course....have a tapas night (sexplay wise) Make a multitude of appetizers the main meal for the night.
  • Kiss- There is nothing wrong (in my opinion) in kids seeing there parents sharing a long slow passionate kiss. It shows that affection is ok between couples. (just remember if the kids are there don't get too carried away) Remember what it was like to be a teenager ad JUST pashing and nothing you get older kissing falls on the back-burner and we forget how fun it can be just to tongue wrestle.

These are just some of many many ideas you can try.....if you have a tip to spice up your sex life please add it as a comment....the more ideas the better as something that works for one person may not work for the next.

Get Frisky!
Love and Smiles


    Thursday, March 4, 2010

    Witchy Mamma- Guest blog by AusGaia

    This is a guest blog written by an wonderful close friend of mine.
    We shall just refer to her as AusGaia to protect her privacy and the privacy of her family also


    Like many parents I'm juggling little ones - Master 5 and Master 18mths as well as awaiting Master #3. My days are spent doing the school run and changing nappies among the seemingly never ending pile of washing that grows and mutates daily. I bathe and read to the boys before bedtime, bake them cookies and comfort them when they have a nightmare or have hurt themselves. All the normal things a mum does, the only difference is that, well, mum just happens to be a Pagan.

    Now truthfully I haven't previously given much thought as to how my boys would be influenced by their mum's chosen spiritual path, most likely due to the fact they are still very young. I must admit that I now think I was being a bit naive. I hadn't really stopped to think about this topic before I was asked to write a blog post, at least not as in-depth as I have been for the last couple of weeks. I decided that the best way to see if I was pagan parenting would be to observe how I interacted and engaged with my children. To my astonishment I began to notice telling details right away. Things that are so second nature to me that I didn't even notice I was doing them, things that are now obviously inheritatly born from my personal spirituality such as attachment parenting (which I didn't realise had a label until I was so informed by SBM) expressing my views of the world from topics such as my preference for natural, non-commercial products to our weekly sage cleansing of the house or that we have various crystals hidden all over the house and buried in our yard. Master 5's seemingly inherent knowledge of candle safety and maintenance. Simpler things like the lullaby I sing to Master 18mths, picking him flowers to dissect or chatting to Master 5 about the different seasonal changes in our backyard and why they occur. He turned to me this afternoon on our way home from school and informed me the 'element air' was being very cheeky and playing with the leaves on the pathway ahead as a gust of wind picked them up.

    I didn't think I had passed on anything as I don't involve them directly in my pagan ways. I strongly believe in and encourage their freedom to forge their own path in life, but I have to acknowledge that while the boys may not join me during my rituals celebrating the energy of the moon or cycle of the seasons Master 5 has (probably) inevitably taken a keen interest and has an inquisitive eye for the natural world around him, and as his mum I couldn't be more chuffed. Walk anywhere with me and you must be prepared to take your time. I'm the kind to stop and smell the roses......... and touch the trees, watch the bee's, listen to the birds...... well you get the idea. Yesterday we were home 15 mins later from school just so I could show they boys an interesting lizard I spotted. He has expressed a connection with nature that is unfortunately a rarity in my own generation let alone his and if there is one thing I want to pass on to my kids it would be the love, respect and nurturance of the Earth. Just the other day he requested a small Goddess shrine to Gaia/Mother Earth be erected on his bookshelf where he can place the two gemstones he carries with him to school daily to 'recharge'. He never fails to remind me that they must be placed in his pocket before he sets foot out the door in the mornings.

    I always thought of myself as a wife & parent first and Paganism was a secluded part of my own life, but I've come to realise that there really is no separation. I self identify as pagan, my spirituality has become the basis for who I am and who I will grow to be. I have discovered more about myself and my beliefs every time my path has evolved to another level. If I try to stifle or remove my spirituality from my parenting then I am not giving all of myself to my children. They deserve to have a whole parent, one who is not secretive or afraid to express herself and share of herself. Fortunately I have been blessed with an open minded husband who sees no ill will or forcefulness from my actions or maybe we have been together so long that like me he just doesn't bat an eye at my hippie ways any more lol.

    I have been on the Pagan path for over a decade now and to be honest it hasn't always been an easy road to travel. When you find yourself placed outside the 'norm' (who defines normal anyway?) you inevitably have to deal with the ignorance and bigotry of others from time to time. This is true though for anyone from homosexuals & young parents to 'alternative' religions and even those darn trekkies sometimes cop it. In all seriousness I do worry that I may be setting my boys up for some rough times. This has been on my mind a lot more since Master 5 started kindergarten this year. I'm out of the broom closet, always have been but that doesn't mean I want my boys to be subjected to whispers or bullying. This is a path I have chosen but they didn't get a choice in having a pagan parent. Personally I'm very private when it comes to my spiritual beliefs and practices. Even those closest to me will only hear about anything specific if they initiate the conversation. I have been lucky enough not to receive such treatment in a long while, the last incidence being before Master 5 was born from a neighbour who I swear bore a remarkable resemblance to Mrs Kravitz.

    The real decision I have to make will be one of the hardest, it may well end up being the tale of a double edged sword. Do we live openly and authentically as who we are and expose ourselves to potentially upsetting bigotry from people such as other parents at school to Pastor Danny Nalliah (not that this man has ever had anything remotely credible to say) who is convinced that Canberra Witches' covens had cursed our federal government with blood sacrifices on Mount Ainslie. (I actually went up to take a gander at the so called 'sacrifice site' and personally my opinion on this is that if you can't tell the difference between dried red soft drink and blood you're a freakin' moron (using my nice words today)).
    On the other hand if we decide to be secretive what message will this send to my boys? Is there a middle ground? At the end of the day I realise that if my husband and I have raised thoughtful, considerate children who have the confidence within themselves to acknowledge exactly who they are then we have done our job well.

    x-posted to AusGaia – Blog of an Australian Pagan


    Note by Squishybum mum:
    I had known AusGaia for a long time, almost six months before i realised that she was a pagan. And the reason that i found out was when i visited her house I noticed her beautiful alter in her spare bedroom and being as blunt as a sharp stick I asked her outright if she was a pagan.
    Since then we stayed in contact ad i have been privileged enough to watch her family grow.
    Master 5 is the most amazing five year old boy I have EVER met, the way he plays with giggle girl is beautiful, he is so patient and gentle with her.....even if she just wants to make a mess of his toys.
    Since we became friends our husbands have also become mates and Mr President (god I hate calling hubby that.....he should have come up with a better name!) has started the process of researching the different paths of paganism for himself....with AusGaia as his guide.

    Love and Smiles

    Information Links

    PAN – Pagan Awareness Network Australia

    Paganism Australia

    Witches' Voice

    Wednesday, March 3, 2010

    Tales from a sleep deprived mummy!

    We have sleep issues at the moment in my household, and with daddy being away I get to deal with them all by myself.
    Giggle girl for some unknown reason has taken herself out of the lovely routine she had created (we try not to push routines on to her, we just follow her ques and go from there)
    So after three very difficult bed times and zero daytime sleeps (please let her not be dropping daytime sleeps already!! Mummy isn't ready for that yet!!) I'm going to share with you all the things I have tried an failed with.

    -relaxing music playing
    -bath with lavender oil (it was at 10pm and I was getting desperate!)
    -putting undies (she calls them farties) on over her pj pants (at her very determined request)
    -putting undies (farties) on her spongebob soft toy
    -more milk
    -ditching the milk idea and going for water
    -panadol (she has a blocked nose and I thought she may have a headache as she kept snacking her hand on her head)
    -bath in eucalyptus oil to clear her blocked nose.
    -reading lots and lot of books
    -trying to ignore her (didn't work, I couldn't stand hearing her upset! I lasted not even 5mins...don't know how ppl can do controlled crying for hours!!??)
    - getting her up to play in the hope it would wear her out
    -putting her in bed with me (she thought it was a trampoline, epic fail!)
    -lots and lots of cuddles
    -bringing to dog up to her room so that she could say goodnight
    -numerous nappy changes because she was telling fibbies (pibbies in her words) about having a squishy poo (also her words)
    -asking if she wanted to call daddy to say goodnight

    There were probably lots more attempts and various things but as I was probably half asleep when I tried them they remain out of grasp of my memory.

    Hope you got more sleep than I did!

    Love and Smiles

    Tuesday, March 2, 2010

    Pandsi FAIL!!

    I had a horrible experience with pandsi (postnatal depression support service in ACT)

    Although I was never specifically diagnosed with postnatal depression, I have suffered general depression for many years.
    This was my first time EVER reaching out and asking for help and support. I didn't ask for therapy or anything that would take up their resources, I didn't think myself bad enough or worthy, all I wanted was to involved in their pram walking group to meet other mums who understood what it was like to have down days.

    I called them up and explained my history but as soon as I mentioned that I had a history of self harm (although at that stage I hadn't harmed myself in over a year) I was told that I was a suicide risk and they couldn't deal with me. They then told me to call the ACT mental help crisis line (yes I know, a little dramatic)
    I did call the crisis line, even though I wasn't in crisis, and the operator on the other end was lovely. She was appalled that I was turned away from a service that was designed to connect mums in the same situation.

    I later found out that another friend of mine, who also self harms, was welcomed with open arms by pandsi. Even though she has been self harming a lot more recently than I had been.

    I was appalled by their lack of compassion and was more annoyed when they continued to call me every two weeks to "check up on me" until I told them (politely I must add) that they were bloody useless and were they just calling to see if I was dead yet. (i had found a counseling service though the women's health they were wonderful!)

    Am I the only one who has had this sort of experience??

    Love and Smiles

    Monday, March 1, 2010

    Birthin'- bitchin'- and babies..... Mums groups gone mad!

    Before having giggle girl I didn't have very many female friends. I found blokes easier to hang out with. They didn't have as many dramas (usually....there are expections to every rule!) But when I became a mum I found that I wanted to be around "like" people, other mums, who understood what my life now involved, who had the same parenting values as I did. I thought it would be easy. I was a "normal" mum.
    How wrong was I!
    Don't get me wrong. I have some wonderful mummy friends, but I had to sort the wheat from the charfe to find them.
    The amount of bitching and backstabbing that goes on in some mums groups would only compare to what goes on in some reality television shows. Just with less cameras, most of the time.
    I have made a list of the bad mums in mums groups. If I have forgotten any please add them as a comment below.

    1- The label diva mum
    The mum that will only dress her child in the latest designer duds, only drive the best car, has a pram worth more than my month of rent.
    Personally I am proud of how little I can pay for things. I love op shops and being a tight arse when I comes to clothes and kids accessories.

    2- The competive mum
    This mum will try to out do anyone. If you happily announce your child took their first step she will say hers took two. Your bubba says their first word theirs is reciting nineteeth century poetry from memory.
    These mums can't let you be happy and satisfied with your childs milestones. They have to do better.
    This mum may not just be competive with things relating to their kids. Their husbands or partners will ALWAYS be better than yours (even if it's all a lie....see also liar mum)

    3- Drama queen mum
    This mum is always having problems, about everything! I know every one has their ups and downs but this mum takes it to a whole new level.

    4- Liar mum
    With this mum you can never tell if what is coming out of her mouth is fact or fiction. They don't always lie to be awful but sometimes it jet happens. Wether they are lying about it raining outside or if they had really said something Nast about someone, don't trust this mum as far as you can kick them.

    5- The pot stirring mum (aka the bitchy mum)
    This mum will go out of her way to create trouble. They will lie, backstab and bitch just to get a rise out of people. (they may also be a drama queen mum) Avoid at all costs!!

    6- Lazy mum
    These are the mums who put their kids into childcare full time even though they aren't working or studying. They will also try to manipulate nice mums into looking after their children regularly for no pay or thanks.

    7- The always right mum
    It's my way or the highway with this mum. They will pooh pooh everything that you do that is different too them. If you breast feed and they will formula feed you will be inundated with her reasons why what she's doing is best. Don't try and stand up for yourself. She will not let you win. Far too much effort to deal with!

    So what are your experiences with mums groups?
    Share your horror stories as a comment.

    Love and Smiles

    Money money money!!!

    I wish money grew on trees! Because OMG we need it in our house right now! We have only recently moved to Sydney from a smaller city and before we moved we were doing so well with managing our cash flow. We were saving over a third of our income (Which isn't a huge sum to begin with) Before Christmas we had a few thousand dollars in savings. Now we are using small change to buy nappies for giggle girl (yes I know, I wish I had have known about mcn much much earlier!) Some how over Christmas and the holidays our savings disappeared!

    Our big problem at the moment is that giggle girls daddy (he has requested to called Mr President in my blogs, hmmmm.....I'm still debating that one) is working six very long days a week and if he's on duty he will work 36 hours straight with only two hours sleep. So when he has a day at home I want to make it exciting. Living in a new city there is so much to see and do, the problem is how much it all costs!!
    I know that giggle girl doesn't care what we do, she's happy with a walk to the park to play on the swings, it's more making things fun for him. He misses out on so much during the week, at the moment he leaves before she wakes up and is lucky if he sees her for 5 minutes before she's off to bed.

    I know that I have to reign in our spending. Sydney is a very expensive city to live in compared to where we were previously.
    I signed up to the natural parenting newsletter and was sent an e-book of free (or very cheap) kids activities. So this weekend I think that we will be making a few batches of playdough and making lots of cool things out of it. As well as a walk to the park for some swing time.

    I posted a status update asking for budgeting ideas and got some awesome responses. (thanks peoples!!)
    So Thursday is pay day, I think I will start getting organised now. Write out a menu plan. Pay all the bills (not many this fortnight thank goodness!) And see if we can get back on track with saving.

    If you have any more tips or ticks to save money or ideas on how to have a fun weekend for daddy and giggle girl without a huge cost let me know.

    Love and Smiles