Saturday, January 30, 2010

The 3 things that made a difference.

There are 3 things i can specifically pinpoint that made me a better parent and made me appreciate the little wonder i had created. I know that there are little things everyday but there are the big far.

1, My mum and dad.
My dad worked alot when i was a kid, i always thought that it was because he was a workaholic and he would rather be at work than at home. Its only since having my own family that i realised that he worked so hard to ensure that mum could stay home with my brother and I. Mum was a SAHM until my bother went to high school (he is the youngest) So i had the most brilliant childhood, i would come home from school to fresh baked bread or biscuits. We lived on a hobby farm, had our own chickens and a veggie garden and fruit trees. it was an idyllic location, exactly what i would love to provide for giggle girl. My mum was an attachment parent and extended breastfed both myself and my brother, all without knowing there was a term for it, she just did what felt right. Its any wonder that giggle girl loves her "narn and pa" more than anyone else (excluding her mum and dad of course......I hope...)

2, The YouTube video 99 balloons
(WARNING, video is a definite tearjerker! Be warned!)
The amazing parents of Elliot, who knowing that he wouldn't live very long took the time to document his 99 days on earth is the most beautiful heartwarming tribute to their son.
There is something the father says at 1:34 into it that had the most profound effect on me. He says its 11pm and mum is asleep and his feeding shift has begun (Elliot is tube fed every 3 hours and it takes 1.5hours at a time) and his shift finishes at 4:45am when mum takes back over again. The one line that hit me like a brick in the face is that "it's his favourite time of the day"
When giggle girl was born it was winter and we were living in an area that was VERY VERY cold (as far as Australian cold standards go). Even though we were co-bedding i was still resentful that i had to wake up and before i started breastfeeding properly i had to get up and get her a bottle of expressed breast milk. I wasn't happy about having my sleep interrupted and having to get up in the cold etc etc......until i watched this video and i realised how lucky i was to have a healthy child who was thriving. I realised that she relied on me for EVERYTHING and that i was turning into a "convenience mother" rather than the sort of parent that i wanted to be. From that moment on my prospective took a HUGE turn. I sat there bawling my eyes out at the computer looking at my beautiful baby girl making those silly sleeping baby faces as she slept in her rocker next to me, I vowed things would be different. I made my husband watch the video too so when thing seemed to be getting difficult to remember how lucky we are....(I'm sounding really preachy but it had a HUGE effect on me)

3, The loss of a friends child
A wonderful friend of mine had stillborn baby. I don't want to give any more details as its not my story to tell and i also want to protect her privacy. But it made me look at some of the mothers i saw hanging around the shopping centre one day i was there, and in the space of my hour shopping trip i saw a mother give her very young baby (under 6 months old) a bottle of orange juice, a mother shouting at her toddler that he was a "little d*ckhead" and a mum sitting next to a pram smoking while on her mobile while her baby cried. And it made me wonder why were these people given the chance to have healthy kids and my friend missed out? How was that fair?! It made me determined that i wasn't going to let ANYONE ever thing that i didn't deserve my child. I wanted to give giggle girl an extra special life to make up for the little life that missed out, and when i talk about an extra special life i don't mean filling it with "stuff and material possessions i mean filling it with joy and information and wonder.
This friend of mine is someone i would consider being a surrogate for.....if only i liked being pregnant!

I'm sure there will be many many more things that will happen in the years to come that make me realise how lucky i am and how appreciative i should be of my life and my beautiful giggle girl.

What has made you realise how blessed you really are?? I would love to hear your stories.

Love and Smiles

1 comment:

Mary Beth said...

wow, sounds like you had an amazing childhood :) That is so very beautiful. Mine was quite the opposite, I was a latch key kid since kindergarten and had an abusive (ill) mother, and a dad we saw once a month... I took it all as a learning experience to raise my children quite the opposite ..and even though this is how I was raised, AP parenting came natural to me with my 1st born son. I didn;t even know what AP was until he was almost one, but realized, thats what my dh and I were doing.
And sadly enough, like you, seeing close friends loose a child in utero makes me count my blessings. And every time I am in public and see examples of bad parenting, it makes me want to hug my babies also makes me want to mother those kids with the not so perfect parents...just yesterday I watched a young mom scream "shut up!" in her toddlers face... :(