Sunday, January 24, 2010

what are you waiting for?

I recently found out that a friend of mine had passed away.
It was very sudden and without warning and it shocked me to the core.
she was in her mid-20's like me, she had only been married a few years, ran her own successful business and had just finished building her dream home. it seems like such a waste of a young life.

what upset me more than anything else though was that the last time i had communicated with her,online admittedly, not the most personal format but we were very busy women, she had told me that they were planning on trying for children this year.

Now that can't happen, but it made me think....what was she waiting for?

As i was fairly young when i fell pregnant with giggle girl I somehow became the the all knowing oracle of "how do you know if its the right time to have a baby?"

To begin with i was patient and tried to answer one particular "friend's" questions by explaining what was involved with parenting and some of the challenges that she could be faced with in the first 12 moths (as that was all i was up to myself at that stage)
only to have her explain to me all the things i hadn't done before having a baby that she wanted to do, most of them were financial and status markers- she wanted to buy a house and have nice furniture and have a bigger car and travel more etc etc.

Yes, i can see some logic in her argument BUT i also cant see the point of waiting until life is"perfect" only to find out its too late or have something happen tomorrow that means you will never have children. people over think things, and there are too many "what if's" Im not saying have a baby if your life is a complete shitfight, but if you have everything you need plus a bit more (not everything you want....that's a different story) then whats really holding you it more than just the money and "stuff" that you are worried about, maybe you know deep down that your relationship isnt as good as you pretend it is?

[Side note-on the topic of buying a house, yes i know rent is dead money but all the nice things to go in the house, well kids dont know the different between something worth $5 and something worth $ long as it helps whatever action figure is cool at the time fall off a balcony faster who cares.]

I bet that the family of my friend who passed away wish that she had started trying for a baby earlier. it would mean that there is still a little piece of her left behind, and as sad as that would be for the child they would know that they were loved.

The moral of the story, follow Nike's advice and "Just do it!" ....what are you REALLY waiting for??

{BTW the "friend" who asked my advice ended up getting a puppy and then went on to tell me that toilet training a puppy was much harder work than training a child........ i will let you give me your thoughts on that one!}

Love and Smiles

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