I recently spoke to a friend of mine who is finally pregnant after a lot of terrible experiences and losses over the past few years.Im so exited for her because I know that she has done everything thing she possibly can to ensure that she has a healthy viable pregnancy, she quit smoking, changed her lifestyle and worked really hard so that she could come off her anti-depressants. I'm so proud of her1
But something she said disturbed me. Her doctor has told her that she should book into for an elective cesarean.....because she is too small to have a natural birth. Shes only 20 weeks pregnant!!!
She is a very petite person (about 5ft tall and I'm guessing a size 6-8) but I was a similar size when I fell pregnant with giggle girl (I then went to to gain a shitload of weight to become the Squishybum mum I am today)
I am so annoyed at her doctor, how can they take away her power so early. They have basically told her don't even bother trying...it won't happen. How dare they! This woman has worked so hard to get the baby that she has dreamed of for so long, so for them to be dismissing her birthing ability before the event can't help her self confidence. (and how would they know anyhow....shes only half way along....how would they have a clue how big bubba is going to be...or how small...
I spoke to another friend of mine who wrote a previous guest blog for me, Aus gaia ...She was told by the sonographer, when she was pregnant with her second child, that there was no way that she could give birth vaginally....he was too big and her pelvis would be most definitely break in the process and she would end up in a half body cast. She ignored him.
It took her only 1.5 hours to give birth to her son she walked down to the sonographer with a midwife and said..."I told you so!...after which he was suspended (he had been calling her at home telling her she HAD to have a C-section.
GO MAMA!
So I would like to hear some positive stories for my friend, to let her know that just beause she is petite doesn't mean that she cant have the birth that she wants.
To my friend, Bi....this is what I want to say to you....You are one of the strongest women I know, you have been through so much already and for let some doctor try to tell you that your body is incapable of doing what it was designed with the primal function to do is revolting! YOU CAN DO THIS!
Love and smiles
Z.
xox
7 comments:
I gave birth to BOTH my children vaginally, and neither of my doctors EVER elected me for a cesarean because i was/am small! I am currently 5 foot FLAT and about 105 lb/47.6 Kilos, and was NEVER once told i needed a C-Section. Being a young mother with health problems i even asked if i needed one early on in my first pregnancy and my doctor said not unless myself or the baby was in danger. How can her doctor strip that power from her?! There is no reason she shouldn't at least try! The only reason they should schedual a c-section for her is if she was almost there (like 35 wks plus) and medically it would prove dangerous for a vaginal birth. If i was her i'd request for a new OB and toss the jerk she has now. How dare he try to take that away from her because her baby MIGHT be big. That is something that can be figured in the delivery room or soon before. Insane. Just Ridiculous. For your friend, tell her to tell the doctor she WILL not go in for elective cesarean. If it's deemed medically necessary to survive then fine, if not she should stand her ground and not let them do hat to her OR her baby!
Hi! I was a size 6, 130 pounds, 5'1" when I got pregnant with my first... he was 9lbs 12oz, had a 16.5" head, and I birthed him vaginally. I am a VERY firm believer that the body will not grow a baby it cannot give birth to.
I think your friend needs to find a new OB/GYN or a midwife, quick! If this is the attitude she's being given now, when it comes time for her to have the baby, they're going to be pushing the epidural, pitocin, and she might just end up with a c-section anyway (and the following PTSD/birthrape feeling/postpartum depression that so often comes from emergency sections). Her body will definitely be able to bring that baby into the world, no worries! :)
My grandmother is 4 feet 11 inches, and weighed less than 100 pounds. She gave birth vaginally, without drugs, without complications, FOUR times, including twins. Her labors were never more than 2 hours from start, to pushing, to finish.
My mother is 5'2", was 110-120 pounds with each of her 2 births, and also had normal vaginal births. Both in less than 2 hours.
I'm 5'4", 110-115 pounds, and birthed both my children vaginally. My first was medicated and took 38 hours, but my second was entirely natural and took less than 2 hours like the generations before me.
My aunt is the only one that had to have c-sections, and that is due to a very rare thing where she's got strange bone spurs all over her pelvis.
I encourage your friend to watch this video:
"Cephalopelvic Disproportion is rare yet is vastly overdiagnosed. Here are the stories of a few women who were told their babies were too big for their pelvises by one care provider, but fortunately sought a second opinion and subsequently birthed an even BIGGER baby through that same "small" pelvis."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roFVkDV45MM
If that doesnt inspire a gal, I don't know what will!
Also, here's a helpful tidbit one friend told me: FAT SQUISHES!!!
Ever see a chubby little hamster squish through a tube that seems far too small for it? Yup. Fat squishes.
I have a co-worker who is around 5 ft, maybe 120lbs(not sure when she gave birth 17 years ago) and she birthed her son vaginally without drugs and he was somewhere near 10lbs! It can be done!
Also, my birth class instructor said she thought it was easier to birth bigger babies because gravity is on your side when they are heavier.
I'm average height (5' 4") and petite build (I weighed 105 at 42 weeks with my first and had an 8lb 5oz baby) and I've had all my babies vaginally. As a doula and midwife student, I have seen plenty of tiny women give birth naturally. Women tend to grow babies that WILL fit through their pelvis. The body is smart that way.
However, and I saw this with caution, it has been my experience as a doula that babies that are very much tried for and the dr. is aware of the trouble the parents had in getting a baby are often sectioned. I believe this is the dr. trying to cover their ass, quite frankly. They fear that the risk of a lawsuit is higher with a couple that has experienced fertility problems than with a couple that hasn't. I don't know if this is true or not but I have wondered if they also think that if it was so hard to get and stay pregnant then maybe the woman will have a difficult time with 1st and 2nd stage labor as well. I know this is naive and ridiculous but that wouldn't be a first.
Honestly, this is the point where I'd start looking for another care provider. If they don't support her in natural birth now, chances are very strong they won't when she's in labor either. I wouldn't be surprised if her current dr. would start pushing for an induction at 36 weeks or start telling her that her baby is too big at 35 weeks. If things continue she will very likely be having her baby one way or another by 38 weeks. I hope she can find someone that empowers her and believes that women can birth their babies just fine most of the time and stop inviting trouble to a birth that isn't even ready yet. Best wishes to your friend.
If your friend is reading: Don't let them bully and frighten you! Unless there is a REAL danger, a REAL complication, there is *NO* way to ascertain a CPD until you are given a *fair* trial of labor. Please, it's not too late, shop around for another provider. Also, I suggest you pick up copies of Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth and Spiritual Midwifery. Even if you're not super crunchy, there's a lot of good and easy-to-understand information, as well as some very encouraging stories about the wonders of a woman's body in regards to childbirth. Many good thoughts your way!
UPDATE!
i got a text from my fried this blog is about last night
'Loved the blog, lifted my spirits greatly.I'm going 2 have it natural! enjoyed all the comment"
woo!
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