Lazy Sunday.

Today giggle girl, daddy and I are having a day just chilling out at home.

It makes me feel for families who always have something on. Be it soccer or ballet or music or medieval costume design lessons.
I know giggle girl is still very little and we haven't got to the stage when she asks to do activities on weekends.

It makes me wonder if over-committed children are missing out on just being kids? I know that learning a music instrument or playing a team sport can have lots of positive benifits to a childs development but I mean when there are fingers in far too many pies.

I went to a small private school for the first part of my high school years. It was for kindergarten to year 10 students and although I was part of many extra after school activities but nothing compared to the student I was a mentor for who was in year 6. (schhol program, not my idea!)
this little girl who was only about 11 or 12 years old at the time but she did flute lessons one afternoon a week (plus practice) violin lessons one lunchtime a week and had about 3 different tutors for different subjects. She also played junior netball (practice one afternoon a week plus weekend games) and swimming squad two afternoons a week.
I don't know when this little girl got to play with her friends. I know that her parents were just trying to the best for her and you can't fault them for trying, but putting too much on her plate can be just as bad as doing nothing at all.

How many activities do your kids do? And do they still have time to be kids??

Confess your secret- squishybum mum's version of post secret

My parents trusted me when I was little because i was the
"good child" my sister was 2 years older and in her teens and not to be trusted obviously lol my parents used to hide their alcohol in my room (midori and such irresistible lolly drinks) my trick was drinking the whole freakin lot and then acting totally innocent while my sister got the blame haha
I also drank and entire bottle of port that was on display at the house once with a friend when i was a kid and we were so trashed and didn't know what to do that we filled it up with water and put the lid back on.... this bottle is still on display waiting for a special occasion and i am 26 now LOL!!!! I can't WAIT for the day it gets opened hahaha

Female-Australia





26 years ago I spent almost one year in Sydney, I was very young and madly in love with an Australian guy.
Fate tore us apart but I'm still in love with him, although I'm married and mother of four children here in Austria.
I don't know nothing about him.
He was the first man in my life and I wish he would be my last...
Female-Europe



I have a secret.

I like pornography. Well maybe "like" is inadequate, I actually have a borderline obsession with it. I could spend up to and hour or two a day watching it if time permitted. Not sure why. I very rarely masturbate while I watch, and I usually watch it alone, there's just something about it that I really enjoy. Usually I prefer to watch Group sex scenes, or threesomes involving two men and one woman, but I'll give most things ago. I also really enjoy reading erotic fiction, the more hardcore stuff.

So there's my secret.
Female- Australia





My arsehole of an Ex boyfriend asked if i thought his penis was small.....
i said it wasn't....
I lied!!!
(it was Tiny!)
Female- Australia



I want sex with my husband to be kinkier than it currently is.
but don't know how to tell him

Female- Australia







Care to confess your secret?

Love and Smiles
Z
xox

Birth stories- Sarah

Hello I would like to share with you all my birth stories as a guest blogger on squishy bum mum.

My name is Sarah and I'm a 23yo SAHM of two beautiful children Joel and Chloe

My partner and I found out we where pregnant very early as I knew something was up as my period was late and my breasts were also killing me.

After waiting a few days we I set of to get a pregnancy test after work, I couldn't wait till Chris got home so I did it straight away

There is was in clear two lines, we were pregnant!

I started to cry and had to get a brown paper bag to calm myself down, after calming down I got on the phone to Chris.

Chris seemed to think that I'm a bit of ditz when it comes to some things so he was going to buy another for me to do when he got home.

So we did and yep pregnant!

So we decided to make a decisions right there and then we would give each other a few days and then tell each other what we wanted.

The two days came and on the count of three we said out loud.... we are having a baby!

All our appointments went by, we find out we were having a little boy, thinking of names none of them where good.

The night October 7th 2007 I went into labour, mild labour nothing serious, though we went and saw my midwife and she sent me home with a few sleeping tablets and some panadol.

I couldn't sleep as the pain was getting worse and more intense, morning come and we went back to my midwife she looked at me and said yep you're in labour and did a internal and said I was only 3 cms dilated and to go home and try and get some rest!

At this time i was overwhelmed by the pain and exhausted. This was only around 9am, by lunch time I was worried and scared so we went back to the hospital were my midwife meet us there and well she did another internal and i was only 4cm dilated.

So she gave us the choice stay here or go home so we stayed there.

She gave me some morphine and I slept for a few hours and woke up so some full blown contractions.

By 8pm that night I was still only4 cm dilated as time went by and by walking up and down the hall way gas come and went I couldn't for the life me overcome these pains.

By 1 am they broke my water to start things along and well didn't that do something....I was in so much pain I couldn't move off the bed.

Chris my partner never left my side. I got all my strength from him, and then as time went by it felt like hours but it was only minutes.

My midwife said it was time for a eppie nothing else was working so we went up stairs to the antenatal word they got me up on the bed and the doctor come in here I was worried about the doctor seeing me naked and Chris was worried about the huge needle he was about to put in my back I will never forget his face it was wild and he looked like he was about to punch the doctor out!

I slept for most of the morning it was about 3 am Joel heart beat started to fade but they kept an eye on his heart and all was fine I feel asleep listening to his heart beat. Chris on the floor trying to sleep.

The midwife come in around 8am and checked me yep I was 10 cms dilated so here we go!! They turned the epidural off as it was time for me to feel the contractions again, oh god I was thinking.

But with every contractions I pushed and Chris whispered in my ear with every big push we get closer to meeting our son!

He was crowning and the midwife asked Chris if he wanted to have a look and so he did and at that moment he also named our son Joel. At 9:05am

Joel Cecil was born 9th October 2007 8 pounds and 4 ounces 51 cms.


Joel was 18mth old and we found out we were pregnant again with our second baby!

We were shocked but so very grateful, it was great telling Joel he was going to be a big brother, yet we knew he didn't fully understand.

It feels like a life time ago I was pregnant but it was only 4 mths ago.

I called my midwife, the same midwife that i had with Joel, and told her I was pregnant and she took me on straight away. Appointments were easy i knew what we where doing this time, the 20 week ultra sound come up and we wanted to know the sex but they couldn't get a good look, so we went for a walk for a while and went back.

She said it looks like a girl 70 percent! That was going to do me. We were going to have a little girl. We were all so excited and happy!

Her due date was the 14th of October not planned at all, I was hoping she didn't come on Joel's second birthday the little girl stayed in. :)

Went in to the midwife on the 15th as bubs was still not out and they where going to induce me on the 20th i wasn't looking forward to that as I have heard some nasty stories.

The night of the 18th come and still no sign's at all then i had unexpected bleeding it started to get a lot heavier so called my midwife and went in and stayed over night while I was monitored.

Everything seemed fine. Joel was staying at his grandmothers and I I was contracting on and off all though the night and with only two sleeping tablets I was sleeping though them it was great! I didn't think i was in labour at all.

Then the doctor come in and check on me again in the morning did an internal and i was 7 cm dilated we were so excited as the contractions were really nothing special.

I was then discharged out of the antenatal clinic and down to the birthing center.

On the way down the contractions stated to get worse every 2minutes and they where intense but in a good way. Hoped into the bath on the gas 2 contractions later I was 10 cms dilated I was going to have my baby in the bath.......then they couldn't find her heart beat so they flew me over to the bed I remember Chris getting me out like I was a feather.

The the pushing started it was so painful..... I wanted drugs but nope.... wasn't allowed. My water still was intact so they had to break it to help her out.

It was a pain I'll never forget and if i had to choice between a eppie and a drug free I'll be going to drug free for sure.

I couldn't believe it was giving birth to this baby on my own the midwife was just holding her head!

Then a few pushes later Chloe Elizabeth was born 11 24 am 19th October 2007 7 pounds and 14 ounces 51 cms.

Joel was the first one to see her apart from myself and her Daddy and my gosh.... wasn't he proud! He knew the first time he saw her that she was his.

That this baby belong to us, she completes our family.

The birth's of my Children were amazing experience and if I had to sum it all up...It was life changing!

Some people need to be slapped....HARD!

I heard a very sad story last night from a fan, so get ready for the RANT!

I know that child abuse is pressing issue, In Australia recently we have some horrible crimes committed against children. I just cant stand when parents make stupid choices and justify their actions by saying at least I'm not bashing my child as if it makes what they are doing OK.

There are three main characters in my story I will refer to them as A, B and C
A- Is the mother of C
B- Is a single guy with no kids
C- Is a 15 month old child

I hope that will make it easier for you to follow.

B invited A and a friend over to his house for a catch up at 6pm at night. A, C and friend didn't arrive until after 10pm.

B was horrified when he saw A giving C coke-cola to drink from a bottle so that she would get hyped up and then fall asleep easily when the sugar hit wore off.

While C was all hyped up on the sugar, caffeine and chemicals in the coke A was smacking her and telling her off for being naughty.

A also sat C on her lap while having a cigarette and when B commented A said that passive smoking was harmless. When B made an uber sarcastic comment about how about you just give her a cigarette then, A stated that she had in fact watched C consume almost a whole packet of smokes once, and she had watched he do it!

B was appalled and spoke to a close friend of mine (B is also a mutual friend) who has a child about the same age as giggle girl (20 months of so) and asked if this was normal practice as he had no real experience with parenting, but he didn't see how it could be RIGHT.

He posted a comment on his facebook status saying- "Did you no that if you feed a child under the age of two Coke it puts them to sleep??? gotta love the logic of some parents...."

He got a few replies thinking he was being serious and also one from our mutual friend who knew the story saying
"Its young mums like that that give the rest of us a bad name.
Children are not an inconvenience to be managed, they are little people!
If you give a child coke to encourage a sugar crash later to get them to go to sleep i would encourage parenting classes ASAP! There are so many HEALTHY methods to get children into a good sleep routine even if they are not in their normal day to day environment.
Pull your head in if this status was directed at you, its not about you anymore!
Think of whats best for your child, not about whats "easy" at the time"

A's response was
"u can get fucked im a gud mum and i do everythin for my little girl and she has everythin she culd possible need and want... i dnt need no fuckin classes... my daughter has a sleep routine and the onli reason she was awake was because there were new ppl around and she was excited.. the coke was given to her because there was nuttin else for her to ... See moredrink wat was i gunna do let her dehidrate pfft.. i kno its not about me its all about my little girl and always has been yous are carryion on about a little bit of coke maybe u shuld go talk to ppl who starve their kids or bash their kids caz i aint doin anythin wrong... my daughter hardly gets coke and gets all the nutrients and gud stuff she needs so dnt any ov u fukin judge me yous hav no rite to god its like i bash my kid or sumfin the way yous are sarryin on'

As its in some strange language from the depths of the Congo jungle I hope you can understand it....i had trouble the first (few) read through.

Her comment about dehydrating was most amusing....what about tap water....or the Milk and filtered water B offered? Apparently not good enough....she had to go out to specifically buy coke for C.

I know this seems like a bit of a personal attack but A is not a fan of this page so its highly unlikely that she will read this.
It just frustrates me to no-end that some parents will justify things that they do by saying well there are people that do worse things than me so that's ok.

Giggle girl is 20 months old, she has NEVER had coke, she once had one small glass of watered down lemonade as a treat on a hot day. I'm a heavy smoker too but NEVER around her, I have never needed a cigarette so badly that i would be willing to expose my child the chemicals that even I know i shouldn't put into my body.


So i would love to hear feedback on this.
What are your thoughts on the whole sordid story??

Love and Smiles
Z
xox

Pre-baby Jitters.

My husband and I were only married 9 weeks when we found out we were pregnant, and already 6 weeks along!
We didn't really have that newlywed all about us stage. As soon as I saw that test everything changed dramatically for me at that moment.
I quit smoking IMMEDIATELY, I tied to eat correctly even though at the beginning all I wanted to eat was plain cheese pizza, I didn't drink any alcohol.
All the things an expecting mum usually does.

For my husband things where a bit different.
He's in the Australian Defence force so was still going away with work 3.5 days out of most weeks during the entire pregnancy. So that meant that he was away most weekends, and I was home alone in a city a long way away form my family. I didn't have many friends nearby and all that were nearby didn't have children. I have never felt so alone.
It didn't help that every weekend he was away he was still going out and partying.

I knew he was excited about being a dad, I knew he was supportive and loved me completely and utterly, but i felt neglected and like I was doing this pregnancy on my own.

Because of work my husband was unable to attend any of my anti-natal appointments so he didn't get to hear our daughters heartbeat for the first time with me.
He was able to attend both of the ultrasounds that we had, thank goodness!

I was really concerned that I would be for all purposes a single parent when the baby arrived.
I was jealous that he was still living a single guy life (without other women of course) and I was feeling like a crazy lonely cat lady! (minus the cats)
I was excited about becoming a mum, but grieving the loss of my freedom.

To be honest, I was worried, really worried, could we do this... and could we do it together?

As soon as giggle girl arrived everything fell into place. Hubby stepped up as a husband and father and i cannot fault a single thing he has done since she was born.

She completed us. She makes us giggle. She makes us re-capture our own youth everyday. Not doing the things that many others the same age as us do, drinking and going out. We recapture our own childhoods and youth though doing things WITH her, as a family.
And that's how it will stay, the three of us, doing things together.

As a side note he has decided to get out of defence as he can't stand to miss out on so much of her life with being away for work. Before she was born I'm sure he would be in for life. Ahhh....how children change things....but always for the better.

Love and Smile
Z
xox

Frisky Friday- Outfitting for nookie

Before having giggle girl, I had a almost insatiable appetite for sex, since becoming a mum I have found that it takes more to turn me on, not just foreplay but all the game playing and "mind fucking" that comes before hand

And i have discovered I'm a closet exhibitionist.

I love being looked at and knowing I'm being looked at (I'm not into the creepy peeping tom idea)
Whenever my husband is away with work I send him a mix of very raunchy photos and cute glimpse of my body photos.

I'm always terrified that these photos will fall into the wrong hands but I figure you only live once and if nudity is the worst that i do....pffft....so be it! I will cop that on the chin.

My husbands favorite kind of photos are the ones where it just shows my legs, stocking and suspenders. Hes such a traditionalist.
I have to admit that wearing the outfits that turn him on turns me on. Hes not into the stupid fluffy negligee type outfits, thank goodness! (I have trouble being THAT girly)

I love corsets and suspenders, mostly because covering my tummy after baby makes me feel more comfortable. (the lift that they give your boobs is an added bonus)

Costumes I haven't really gotten into, I get distracted and cant stay in character.

I'm thinking i should get a cutesie 1950's short frilly housewife apron to encourage him to "help" me with the housework...the sooner its finished the sooner we get mummy and daddy time, I will try not to tease too much by bending over alto to pick up invisible bits of noting from the floor.
(like this one from Flirty Aprons)

Is it a health and safety issue to clean in high heels and an apron? (I cant see see too many problems unless I'm using caustic chemicals...oven cleaner on your lady bits...OUCH!)

What sort of lingerie do you like? Does your significant other have the same taste as you?

Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

Guest blog- Almost Robbed

This is the first of what i hope to be many guest blogs. I am only one person and cannot possibly experience or research everything thing there is to learn. If you have a guest blog you would like featured on squishybum mum please email me at squishybummum@gmail.com
Love and smiles
Z.
xox

Todays guest blog is written by Deanna, a stay at home mom to an 18 month old perfect little boy. She is also the inventor of the Ponchaby (a poncho for baby wearing parents) www.ponchaby.com

Almost Robbed

This week I found a shocking surprise on my Baby Center birth board. Someone mentioned a term I hadn’t heard of before… and upon further research I became outraged because this happened during my first labor. The term is “Pit to Distress”. This is referring to a shady common practice in hospitals using maximum doses of pitocin in order to create fetal distress, which will ultimately lead to an emergency C-section. Yes… you read that last sentence correctly. They are purposely putting your child in harm so that you are cornered into a C-section. This fast and intense situation is being done to us for a number of reasons, all of which are completely lame. Maybe the doctor doesn’t like missing sleep, s/he has a party to go to, they get more money from the insurance company with a c-section, or the hospital just wants to turn the rooms over more quickly. “Wow” is all I could say for a few days… and then I just started typing. I want to make sure more people learn about this practice so they can arm themselves against it.

I went into the hospital armed with a perfect natural birth plan outline and my husband. My doula was on her way after getting the call that I was being induced due to low amino fluid according to an ultrasound that morning. We were greeted by nurse Diane who took one look at my birth plan and immediately said, “This is not good.” Wow… what? I worked on that for MONTHS… she was referring to my insistence of no medical pain relief, and request that if I ever cave and ask for pain relief they were to make me wait through at least two contractions and then see if I ask again. I tried to let her comments roll of my back. I was already pretty stressed out worrying about induction and shocked that I was going to be having my baby soon. Butting heads with her did not help any! I mentioned to Diane that my doula would be there soon, to which she responded “Your what?” It was at this point I really should have asked for a new nurse, but I was just not in a place for standing up for myself. I couldn’t believe she didn’t know what a doula was… she had mentioned earlier that she had worked in Labor and Delivery for 25 years… and during our prenatal classes we were told that all the nurses were required to go through the weekend doula course at this particular hospital. I stuck with Diane for the next 7 hours until her shift was over. During these 7 hours I am now convinced that she tried to rob me of my birthing experience. She didn’t come sneaking in dressed in black with a mask covering her face, but she came in with a smile and claimed to be doing what was necessary to save my baby. What could have been taken from me is one of the most precious things on earth – the right to give birth to a child my way.

About an hour after getting to the hospital my labor was progressing naturally after having my membranes stripped by the doctor and my water bags broken by the nurse. Diane mentioned that I was progressing so well that it was possible they were not going to need any pitocin. Hip Hip Hurray!! I swear… not 30 minutes later she came back and appeared to just be checking my IV when she made the announcement, “Lets have this baby”. It was an odd thing to say… and then I saw it… a bag of pitocin hanging there being pumped into my body. I’m sure my doula wanted to cut Diane’s throat open… but laws are pretty strict here and they are not allowed to speak to the medical staff on behalf of the patient. They are just there to make you comfortable and help with different positions and relaxation. I wish she could have attacked the nurse for me! I should have ripped the IV out of my arm… but I just laid there and took it. I was being told by a professional that this was necessary to save my baby – whom I was already worried at been living in a “dry dock” with no amino fluid for days.

Diane came back into the room every 30 minutes like clockwork and increased my pitocin. She would make comments like “You’re still smiling, it must not hurt enough” and “I want to make sure we have this baby before midnight so your doctor gets her beauty sleep”. The pain was unbelievable and I had thoughts about asking for medicated pain relief… but lucky for me I’m stubborn and I have an amazing pain tolerance. I had abdominal surgery in 2003, which could be equivalent to a c-section and took nothing but ibuprofen after leaving the hospital. I’m tough!

Around 8pm there was a shift change which I think saved my labor from turning into yet another statistic disaster emergency c-section. The new nurse, Katie, looked at the pitocin levels. Got wide eyed, announced she was cutting the dose in HALF and that “This is your labor we are going to do it your way.” I HEART KATIE!! My labor ended so quickly that it was almost done without any doctors. Katie had to push the emergency button that sent about 5 male resident doctors rushing into the room to witness my crowning crotch. My son was born 10:15pm and delivered vaginally with no drugs other than pitocin. He was one week early and weighed in at 5 pounds 10.2 ounces. Love at first sight.

You’d think that earlier that night I had seen the last of Diane… but oh no, the next morning I bumped into her in the hallway while going for a walk and she proclaimed “Wow, up walking around? You weren’t a c-section? I thought you to be a guaranteed c-section the second you walked in the door.” Nice Diane…. Real nice. I always questioned the actions of Diane, but I never knew it was a real thing until now – 18 months later. There is a great blog done by a nurse (someone like Katie) that outlines her struggle with getting doctors to stop this horrible practice. She also has some great tips for how to protect yourself against this and other harmful interventions.

http://nursingbirth.com/2009/07/08/“pit-to-distress”-a-disturbing-reality/

http://nursingbirth.com/2009/07/09/“pit-to-distress”-part-2-top-6-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-unnecessary-harmful-interventions/

I'm all for foreskins.

After reading this guest blog "Foreskin in the Bedroom: One Woman's Love Affair With an Intact Penis" from the woman uncensored blog I felt inspired to write about my own experiences with intact and circumcised penises.

I have had 3 serious boyfriends, (the ones who penises i actually paid attention to) The first was intact, as he was the one i lost my virginity to i didn't think anything of it....young and frivolous it wasn't a big thinking point.

My second serious boyfriend was circumcised..... that was a bit of an issue.....I had no idea what to do with it. The skin didn't move, there was none of that sexy sliding feeling that an intact penis has. Even when he masturbated he didnt use his hand, he did it using a soft cloth, to somewhat replicate the foreskin feeling.

Then i met my husband, he is intact and has the most beautiful penis I have ever seen, I cant understand how anyone can say that a penis is ugly if its uncircumcised....all i can put those sorts of comments down to is bad personal taste!

I love that feeling of sliding the foreskin gently back, its like opening an amazing present. I love that its the softest skin on his body. I love that i know how to use it to make him happy ;)
(intact penises are just so much more fun to play with)

I'm sad that baby boys are routinely circumcised, they are missing out on having their penis worshiped later in life by their lover or wife.

Now i cant wait for hubby to get home....hehe...

Love and Smiles
Z
xox

Archive- seach for the perfect PJ's

Blog written by me under a different blogging name a year ago.....
Hope you enjoy

I was talking to my Mother In Law recently (and yes i was speaking to her by choice....my MIL is ok-ish but that's off the topic!) about my search for the perfect Pj's and that i was feeling a little depressed that most women may age (probably without kids) sleep in the nude or in pretty, sexy little numbers. I'm looking for the perfect pair of flannel Pajamas! I know, not very sexy but oh so warm!

It it concerning that i have hit my 40's twenty years early? Or is it more concerning that I'm turning into my mother!!??

I love my mum but she seems to get funkier as i get daggier!! THIS ISN'T FAIR!! Maybe its because now she is an empty nester and has time and funds to spoil herself rather shopping for clothes when they are on sale at Kmart.


I'm off to go get my lovely warm flannel jarmies on, then i might snuggle up on the lounge with a throw rug over my knees with a lovely hot cup of tea and a good book.

This getting old caper isn't all bad!!


Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

In pursuit of perfection.

In the past week i have had a number of emails from blog fans that are all about the same general topic, the idea of the perfect mum.

One fan posted a question on the discussion board of the facebook fan page asking for the definition of a perfect mum.

My definition.....hmmm... well we will get to that later.

It's not a recent thing for mothers expected to be "perfect"......this perfect by definition is,
A mother who:

• has cute, well behaved children who are are at least perfectly average (read NORMAL) in ever way
• fitted back into her pre-baby jeans a week after giving birth and boobs that sit where they are supposed to even while wearing a sheer shirt and no bra.
  
• has a house that looks like it could be from the pages of better homes and gardens
• juggles work and home like without one second of being so completely frazzled that she find herself at the shops buying cigarettes even though she "quit" five years ago
• who never spays perfume on the clothes she wore yesterday so that she can wear them again today
• Owns matching lingerie and is a minx in the bedroom
  
• always has matching socks
• has time to get her hair done before the re-growth starts making it look like a grey pancake is melting on her head
• Didn't poop or swear during labour
  
• children who are always clean and well dressed and actually wearing real clothes not their superman pj's at mid-day because they refused to take them off
• a wide social network of other perfect mums just like her who meet fortnightly to compete to see who is the most perfect mum.
• a loving husband who adores her and they never ever fight, about anything.....ever!

If this is perfect then I'm such a bad mum it isn't funny.....lol....ok maybe a little funny.
I wouldn't want to fall into the above definition of perfect...EVER!

One fan said she was worried about her MIL reporting her to DOC's (social services) because she is a terrible mother because her house isn't always spotless....
Mind you this same mum has a 2.5yo little man and a baby princess. She has a healthy home-made meal on the table for her family every night and the reason her house is because shes spending TIME and playing with her kids rather than being a house maid.


Do you think she sounds like a bad mum?

So confession time.

• I put dvd's on for giggle girl so i can check my emails
• I sometimes groan at the idea of reading her the same book again....for the 7th time that day
• I didn't put up Christmas decorations last year
• I sometimes don't shower everyday if I'm just chilling at home and I'm not getting dirty and sweaty
• I am bigger now than i was when i was nine months pregnant
• I swear.
  
• I haven't quit smoking even though I said I would (never around giggle girl, and not while I was pregnant)
• My hair is staying un-brushed today
• I don't own socks that match that don't have holes in them.....let alone matching underwear....I have some undies that the elastic has gone in the....but i still wear them
  
• I ask giggle girl is she wants to get dressed, most of the time she wants to.....if not.... oh well....her PJ's are cute

BUT!!!

• I play outside with giggle girl, we blow bubbles look at plants and the animals that are around us
• Her favorite food is strawberries
• We talk...... as a family, hubby included, about what we have done that day.
• If she wants my attention 99% of the time she has it immediately when she says mummy.
• My house might be messy but its clean! The mess its the toys we have played with or the drawings she has been doing. Shes 20 months old....her attention span isn't very long...which is good....neither is mine some days
• We read together, and daddy reads to her before bed.
• She is offered a variety of food, and most of the time she eats it, or will at least try it
• She is a safe secure loving environment, she is feed, clothes and shod.....it may not be with designer bands....buts shes 20 months old....!!

So my definition of a perfect mum....... YOU!
If you are reading this.....even while the TV is on to distract the offspring...You are spending your downtime thinking about your kids, you are researching things on parenting, you are looking at different ideas.
So i think you are doing a damned fine job


What do you think the definition of a perfect mother is?


Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

P.S If you are every having a day when you feel like a bad mum have a look at this page........you will feel so much better! :)

I'm part of the prozac nation.

Hi I'm Z and I'm on antidepressants.



And i know I'm not the only one.

This is only a recent development only since December and its only a very low dose, but its something i probably should have done years ago but tried to deal with it myself.

I have been a cutter since i was about 12. I had the perfect home life but was bullied continuously at primary and high school for various reasons. One day I started self medicating my pain inside by using pain outside to understand it.
I wasn't one of those annoying people who did it for attention, I lied, I hid it and I did it well. I made sure never to cat deep enough to leave a lasting scar. Even mum mum had no idea until 8 or 9 years later that it was even happening, ad we have a close relationship. I knew what i was doing would upset her so I didn't tell her and just came up with better ways of hiding it.

I have been told by a psychologist that although i am very mature for my age I am emotionally immature, I can't understand the more complex emotions I am feeling so lump them in to the basics....... happy, sad, angry and that's about it.

Its similar for me to the way I have heard anorexics describe their disease, its a power thing, if you cant control whats happening around you you can still control what goes into your body. I could control what happened ON my body.

For almost ten years I battled with this habit, its wasn't an obsession, more of just a bad habit when things got too hard.

I had ex boyfriends who threatened to leave me when they knew i was doing it if i did it again. I had one who did 10 cuts for every one of mine. It didn't stop me. I just became a better story teller about how i had hurt myself. always mundane things....blaming my clumsiness.....I don't know if i was always believed but i was never questioned further.

I never wanted to die, I just wanted to hurt.

I haven't done it now since i fell pregnant with giggle girl. I realised it wasn't about me anymore and i didn't want my child to pick up my bad habits.

The anti depressants were a trail thing to begin with, to see if depression was causing my weight issues. As soon as i started taking them i felt like the black tangled mess of string in my head unraveled. I was calmer and able to be in the moment more rather than thinking about what was next.

Since starting the meds i feel like i have been a better mother, a better wife and a nicer less angry person in general.

Its not a forever thing but its working for now, i don't want to spend the rest of my life relying on medication to keep me balanced.


Love and Smiles
Z
xox

Anti-Valentine

Well is Valentines Day, the day of the year where love and romance is celebrated by puppy eyed, mushy couples everywhere...BLEGH!

Can you tell....I don’t do Valentines Day!

My theory on romance and love is that if you want to do it, don’t wait for the day when florists bump up the prices. Do it just because, don’t wait till the greeting card companies tell you that you should!

Valentines Day should be re-named VD day as I bet there is more pity (or is it sympathy?) sex on Valentines Day than any other time of the year (except maybe New Years Eve)
I bet more STI’s and venereal diseases are exchanged than long stemmed roses!

Maybe the only positive point of Valentines Day is for those who are too scared to admit their feelings the rest of the year?

How do you feel about Valentines Day?

As always
Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

Photo blog 1

As I'm writing as an anonymous blogger it starts to feel, from a readers perspective, like it could all be well written fiction sometimes.

I thought i would share some photos with you to give you a view into my life without sacrificing too much of my (and my family's) privacy
Enjoy!






Our indoor picnic yesterday.






Giggle girl designing her own tattoo's already (she may want to keep working on it)









Dodgy photo sorry...... but this is why i don't do as many blogs as I would like....giggle girl stole lots of keys!









and finally........Moi! (before baby)





Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

Party time?? or Spending time?

We are having a tea party on our lounge room floor today, another raining weekend in sydney so needing to come-up with more inside fun things that don't involve spongebob-squarepants dvds played over and over!

While giggle girl was supposed to be having a sleep hubby and i started making all the naughty food goodies for our picnic. I was making mini pancakes with strawberries and he was making fairy bread we started to talk about how kids party's USED to be.....back when we were young....lol.

Giggle girl's first birthday was a bit of an extravagant event, 300 helium balloons, an army tent (middle of winter) and a jumping castle.....but heres the finer details, the balloons were a gift from one of her 3 sets of grandparents, the army tent was FREE borrowed from hubby's work and the jumping castle was a tiny one that cost $40.

I remember going to parties as a kid where there was a table with all the party food, fairy bread and chips and party pies and sausage rolls. the kids played games that were easy and free to set up, musical chairs, pin the tail on the donkey.

Now you can arrange for your little princess and friends to have a manicure and pedicure, full glamour makeup and hair and then photo shoot......for a 5 year old! As an adult this sounds like bliss and I would sign up right now! But 5 year old? Why are children encouraged to grow up so fast?

I have heard stories on some of the mums forums I'm a member of, stories of parents hiring private catering companies for kids birthdays, taking out bank loans to have bigger and better parties than the year before. This is insanity!

What happened to the fairy bread and party pies?

So my question for you today is what is the most over the top kids party you have seen?

Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

You're a bit young aren't you??!

I was 21 when I fell pregnant with giggle girl so apparently that makes me a "young mum"
I always just thought i was a mum....my age had nothing to do with it but that's not how it was viewed from the outside. I was incompetent and foolish based solely on my age, or what my age was assumed to be by how I look.

I worked in a teeny-bopper retail store until i was pregnant and some customers were just very lucky they made their smart asred bigoted comments during work hours and not just as a comment to a passing stranger on the street.
i was asked many, many times if i was planning on keeping the baby, i was told i was too young to be a mum, asked if the father had stuck around and so on. It was actually almost amusing to see them backpedal when i told them i was 22 and married! All of sudden it was all congratulations and excitement, all the "normal" reactions a pregnant woman should receive.

After having giggle girl I was quite isolated as we were living in a new location and didn't have many friend around, let alone friends with kids

So joined up with a young mums group ran by my local YWCA. I figured it was an opportunity to be out of the house and meet some like minded mums who were of similar age to me.
the group was run from mums aged 13 to 25, but i figured most would be in the middle like me, i was also interested to see how a very young mum managed motherhood, because i sure wouldn't have coped well at the same age! (I dont cope very well some days as it is!)

From this young mums group there were different guest speakers there each week to discuss a wide range of topics ranging from DIY pamper sessions made from things at home through to budgeting and financial management of household expensive. A great program run by a very patient wonderful woman, Gina.

There were about 8 mums that went regularly many had been from disfunctional families or the foster system themsleves. I was the only one that was married and the only one whos parents were still together. The lack of education among the group was astounding as well, i was only one of two who had finished high school. There was also only myself and one other girl, who went on to become one of my very best friends, who are still with the fathers of their children.

I found it so very frustrating that I was trying so hard to make sure that was proving to myself and the world around me that just because I was a young mum didnt make one iota of difference to what sort of parent I was and that my age was irrelevant. Then there were these other mums who were more than happy to sponge of anything and everything from welfare, they were more than happy to perpetuate the negative stereotype of young parents. The final straw for me was finding out one of the other girls was pregnant again to her abusive boyfriend and she was still smoking weed. I never went back to that group. I felt too different from everyone else, for once in my life i was a minority. I think it was the first time ever!

So my experiences with other young mums hasn't been wonderful, I have only 1 or two mummy friends who are the same age as me and none younger, all the rest are older by at least 5 years This isnt intentional, i just havent found people I click with yet that are younger than me (except my husbad, he's a year younger than I am so he isn't even 23 yet!) I find it really sad as i KNOW that there HAS to be lots of young mummies out there doing a wonderful job with their bubbas.....why did i just have to meet ALL the crap ones! :(

What sort of experiences have you had with young mums? Are you a young mum? Where am i going wrong with meeting other mums my age without so many issues??




Love and Smiles
Z.
xox

Ode to a Vagina.

I love my Vagina. Its cute and neat and clean-looking but most of all it gave me a outlet to have a healthy baby girl.

I have seen ALOT of vagina in my short time her on earth ,4 years working in various strip clubs helps with that, i have probably seen more vaginas in the flesh than most men! i have also heard them called every name under the sun.....Ginny, muff, pussy, vag-jay-jay and even one girl i knew called hers "china"
Im a straight girl, im not even bi-curious but i can identify a good vagina when i see one.

Now my gripe with vagina's at the moment is that hardly anyone knows what they REALLY look like unless you work in the adult industry or are a gynecologist. Most teenage boys have a unrealistic idea of vaginas as men's magazines only show airbrushed neatened vagina's that show no inner labia or irregularities. This to me isnt right! how come only "innies" are considered aesthetically pleasing?

No wonder there is a cosmetic surgery market making a mint from womens insecurities. vaginaplasty, labidaplasty and re-virgination (hymen repair) is all because we don't ever see real vaginas on real women......not all airbrushed and edited to look the way magazines think we should.

The most amusing product i found was my new pink button which is essentially makeup for your muff! Really who notices that your genitials arent as pink on the inside as they used to be? why are there no products for men to use before a big night on the town "ball sweat be-gone perhaps?

My vagina changed after i had my daughter but i like it the way it is, scars and shaving stubble included. I would post a photo for you all but im not sure if blogger would boot me off so i will leave you with a picture of a disgusting (but kind of funny) tattoo i found.

As long your vagina doesn't look like this i think your fine :)

Love and Smiles
Z.

Dont look now! Its nudity!

We have had 3 of my husbands mates staying her for the last week or so. None of them have kids or have even lived with a girlfriend before so staying with us would have been a huge change for them.

The thing that seemed to have the most effect on them was not the early mornings, tantrums or having to keep it down while she was going to sleep, it was the nappy free time that was guaranteed to make them run for the hills.

We are doing a modified version of EC toilet training. So we try and have some nudie-bum time for giggle girl every day (if we are home)

Its a trend i have noticed alot recently, as we have a lot of single childless male friends, Its like they are too afraid to be around a naked child in case of being branded a pedophile, even if they have only innocent intentions. We met up with another couple friends who have a 2.5 year old daugher and it was a hot day so the girls were skinny dipping together in the paddling pool, the other single friend who was there wouldn't leave his hiding spot in the other corner of the year where he couldnt see them and looked about as comfortable as someone stretched out on a nest of fire ants. Young children dont learn modestly until they are older and are taught it, so rather than having to walk past two little girls bending and splashing in the water he peed in a garden rather than walking past them to the toilet, all so no one could accuse him of being a deviant (which he is not!)

Dont get me wrong, i don't just parade my naked daughter around a bunch of men. The statistic recently advertised in Australia recently was that 1 in 4 girls are sexual abused in their lifetime scares me shitless! Im the ultimate in paranoid mums when it comes to that sort of thing. With everything else in a childhood i realise that they cant be wrapped in cotton wool, but im the scary mama bear you don't want to mess with if anyone touched my baby!

It been this way since Adam and Eve (apparently....but i will keep religious views to myself) all of a sudden nudity is evil and sinful and ALWAYS sexual. to me naked is just naked, its only sexual when you want it to be.



My husband isnt a big naked person, but i am (i used to be more so but my post baby body scares me a little) but even he is ok with showering with giggle girl. I know if people knew about this some would be mortified! A man showering with a little girl, there must be something perverted about it.... But there isnt, its no different than me showering with her, apparently society thinks that's ok..... whats the difference we both contributed 23 chromosomes to her, its just becuase i have a vagina and she has a vagina it makes our relationship different apparently.

But i know this doesn't just happen with men and their daughters. I have a good friend who is a big fan of naked and has two sons so far and another on the way, people are horrified (including her husband) that her sons see her naked. She has no problems with it, the kids dont even notice anymore, to them its normal, so whats the big deal. She also figured that it gives them realistic views of what women really look like, so by the time they are teenagers they will know that not everyone looks like a pin up model.

Even as an adult I have no problems with being naked around my mum and her being naked around me (maybe a little jealous her stomach is now flatter than mine...lol)

Maybe I'm a bit of a hippy at heart?


So, how do you feel about naked?


Love and Smiles
Z.

Life lessons I learnt on a big night out.

Like most mums I don't get the chance to go out alone very often.....hell I don't even get to pee alone very often, if its not giggle girl its the dog watching me..... but my mum was visiting for the weekend so i jumped at the chance to go out with my husband and some of his mates last Friday night.
The mates were from Western Australia and had never been to Sydney and what better way to give them the real Sydney experience than a night in Oxford Street and Kings Cross.

For those of you unfamiliar with Sydney (or Australia in general) Oxford Street i would have to say is the gay and lesbian epicenter of the country and the Cross....well..... it was described the other night as the "place god forgot" its a strange mix of red light district and hip clubbing area. Hookers and hot spots....interesting mix.


So this is what I learnt over the course of our night

1. Check train time tables before leaving...being stuck at various train stations for almost 2 hours almost peeing my pants....not fun! (and very dangerous after having a baby!)
2. Even being 30kg heavier than my pre-baby weight i still have the ability to convince random old guys to buy me expensive drinks.
3. Transvestite prostitutes should shave the 6 days of beard growth before heading out to work.
4. Working girls in the cross have GREAT taste in shoes, but don't like being asked where they shop.
5. Being the only girl in a group of 4 guys means that automatically no one hits of you, especially when you introduce your husband.
6. No one wants to hear about your baby when they are drunk, unless they have one of their own.....then its a great talking point.
7. Female bar managers are awesome!
8. Don't ask random people if you can choose a pro for them.....they don't think its funny.
   
9. Wear comfy shoes! (i didn't, big mistake!)
10. Random compliments from strangers make your night.....make sure you give some to someone next time you are out.
11. Most of the girls i saw with great legs were really guys....that's NOT fair....lol
12. paying $25 dollars for a long island iced tea is too expensive, ask how much drinks cost BEFORE they make them to avoid arguments with HUGE islander bouncers.
13. God there are some HOT gay guys around!
14. Don't get home at 4am if you know that bubba will be up at 7:30. it makes for a very long day for mummy.
15. Don't wear fishnet stockings if you have fat legs and are walking long distance, the chafing is amazing!

This is the inside of my thigh......it even has the fishnet pattern!



I had a great night, its just lucky i only do it once in a blue moon...... I'm going to be napping when giggle girl does for the next week just to catchup on lost sleep! Im just glad i wasn't hungover, that would have been unbearable!

So now you know about my weekend...how was yours?


Love and Smiles
Z.