I was 21 when I fell pregnant with giggle girl so apparently that makes me a "young mum"
I always just thought i was a mum....my age had nothing to do with it but that's not how it was viewed from the outside. I was incompetent and foolish based solely on my age, or what my age was assumed to be by how I look.
I worked in a teeny-bopper retail store until i was pregnant and some customers were just very lucky they made their smart asred bigoted comments during work hours and not just as a comment to a passing stranger on the street.
i was asked many, many times if i was planning on keeping the baby, i was told i was too young to be a mum, asked if the father had stuck around and so on. It was actually almost amusing to see them backpedal when i told them i was 22 and married! All of sudden it was all congratulations and excitement, all the "normal" reactions a pregnant woman should receive.
After having giggle girl I was quite isolated as we were living in a new location and didn't have many friend around, let alone friends with kids
So joined up with a young mums group ran by my local YWCA. I figured it was an opportunity to be out of the house and meet some like minded mums who were of similar age to me.
the group was run from mums aged 13 to 25, but i figured most would be in the middle like me, i was also interested to see how a very young mum managed motherhood, because i sure wouldn't have coped well at the same age! (I dont cope very well some days as it is!)
From this young mums group there were different guest speakers there each week to discuss a wide range of topics ranging from DIY pamper sessions made from things at home through to budgeting and financial management of household expensive. A great program run by a very patient wonderful woman, Gina.
There were about 8 mums that went regularly many had been from disfunctional families or the foster system themsleves. I was the only one that was married and the only one whos parents were still together. The lack of education among the group was astounding as well, i was only one of two who had finished high school. There was also only myself and one other girl, who went on to become one of my very best friends, who are still with the fathers of their children.
I found it so very frustrating that I was trying so hard to make sure that was proving to myself and the world around me that just because I was a young mum didnt make one iota of difference to what sort of parent I was and that my age was irrelevant. Then there were these other mums who were more than happy to sponge of anything and everything from welfare, they were more than happy to perpetuate the negative stereotype of young parents. The final straw for me was finding out one of the other girls was pregnant again to her abusive boyfriend and she was still smoking weed. I never went back to that group. I felt too different from everyone else, for once in my life i was a minority. I think it was the first time ever!
So my experiences with other young mums hasn't been wonderful, I have only 1 or two mummy friends who are the same age as me and none younger, all the rest are older by at least 5 years This isnt intentional, i just havent found people I click with yet that are younger than me (except my husbad, he's a year younger than I am so he isn't even 23 yet!) I find it really sad as i KNOW that there HAS to be lots of young mummies out there doing a wonderful job with their bubbas.....why did i just have to meet ALL the crap ones! :(
What sort of experiences have you had with young mums? Are you a young mum? Where am i going wrong with meeting other mums my age without so many issues??
Love and Smiles