Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Dont look now! Its nudity!

We have had 3 of my husbands mates staying her for the last week or so. None of them have kids or have even lived with a girlfriend before so staying with us would have been a huge change for them.

The thing that seemed to have the most effect on them was not the early mornings, tantrums or having to keep it down while she was going to sleep, it was the nappy free time that was guaranteed to make them run for the hills.

We are doing a modified version of EC toilet training. So we try and have some nudie-bum time for giggle girl every day (if we are home)

Its a trend i have noticed alot recently, as we have a lot of single childless male friends, Its like they are too afraid to be around a naked child in case of being branded a pedophile, even if they have only innocent intentions. We met up with another couple friends who have a 2.5 year old daugher and it was a hot day so the girls were skinny dipping together in the paddling pool, the other single friend who was there wouldn't leave his hiding spot in the other corner of the year where he couldnt see them and looked about as comfortable as someone stretched out on a nest of fire ants. Young children dont learn modestly until they are older and are taught it, so rather than having to walk past two little girls bending and splashing in the water he peed in a garden rather than walking past them to the toilet, all so no one could accuse him of being a deviant (which he is not!)

Dont get me wrong, i don't just parade my naked daughter around a bunch of men. The statistic recently advertised in Australia recently was that 1 in 4 girls are sexual abused in their lifetime scares me shitless! Im the ultimate in paranoid mums when it comes to that sort of thing. With everything else in a childhood i realise that they cant be wrapped in cotton wool, but im the scary mama bear you don't want to mess with if anyone touched my baby!

It been this way since Adam and Eve (apparently....but i will keep religious views to myself) all of a sudden nudity is evil and sinful and ALWAYS sexual. to me naked is just naked, its only sexual when you want it to be.

My husband isnt a big naked person, but i am (i used to be more so but my post baby body scares me a little) but even he is ok with showering with giggle girl. I know if people knew about this some would be mortified! A man showering with a little girl, there must be something perverted about it.... But there isnt, its no different than me showering with her, apparently society thinks that's ok..... whats the difference we both contributed 23 chromosomes to her, its just becuase i have a vagina and she has a vagina it makes our relationship different apparently.

But i know this doesn't just happen with men and their daughters. I have a good friend who is a big fan of naked and has two sons so far and another on the way, people are horrified (including her husband) that her sons see her naked. She has no problems with it, the kids dont even notice anymore, to them its normal, so whats the big deal. She also figured that it gives them realistic views of what women really look like, so by the time they are teenagers they will know that not everyone looks like a pin up model.

Even as an adult I have no problems with being naked around my mum and her being naked around me (maybe a little jealous her stomach is now flatter than

Maybe I'm a bit of a hippy at heart?

So, how do you feel about naked?

Love and Smiles


Clarinda said...

What a great post :)You are on the same wavelength as myself.

My husband and I are most comfortable with being naked around our sons (4y, 2y, 4m) My 2nd son is more comfortable without any clothes on then he will ever be dressed. He has an all over tan to prove this. lol.

I allow my sons to be naked around friends and family, if they (my sons) so desire.

The only thing I have a problem with is when people start using pet names for penis and making commment when the boys play with themselves. To me that is inappropriate and taking away the innocence that comes with childhood. lol But I can rant all day about that one!

Woman Uncensored said...

We're totally chill about nudity around here too. Our oldest is nearly 5, so hubby isn't *constantly* naked like he used to be, lol, but it's no big deal if she walks in the room when he happens to be showering or changing or something. Neither of them bat an eye over it. Littlest one is almost 2 so of course she doesn't really care. Although, the other day, hubby was getting out of the shower, and she walked into the room, looked right at his penis and said "Poop?" I could NOT stop laughing. Hubby was insulted, lol.

My kids see me naked all the time too. In the shower, getting ready for the day, shirtless for breastfeeding, whatever.

In an innocent family context, I don't think it is a big deal at all. Better seeing mommy, daddy, and siblings bodies, than being SO sheltered and curious that they go play "doctor" with god-knows-who that may harm them.

Jaynie said...

I'm with you Clarinda, especially about the pet names for penis/vagina. Someone mentioned the other day about what age should you stop a baby girl having a shower with her dad.....I think never (or whenever either wants to stop). Also it isnt as much an issue about a baby boy showering with his mum.

Obviously we all worry about sexual deviants but I'm also pretty concerned about my baby girl growing up with a negative body image and I want her to be comfortable in her own skin, whatever size or shape she grows into.

I'd get around in the nude all day if I could.

Sausage Mama said...

i know a mother of two boys, aged 4 and 6. She refuses to let them see her naked or in her underwear, she calls them little perverts. She thinks she's caught them perving on her. It's so disappointing, they were probably just genuinely interested in what her body looked like :0(

I don't care if anyone sees my boobs, but only my kids and my partner will see the rest of me. I was brought up to be very modest, and sex was never talked about. Which I took to mean the body and sex was shameful. My kids won't get that message, I'll tell you that much!

Accidentally_Mommy said...

We're a very naked family. We even *gasp* cosleep naked. I cosleep naked with my son, who is currently three months. Like you said - naked is naked. It's only sexual when you want it to be.

There's a broad enough level of comfort with my children that my daughter even accompanies me to OB/GYN appointments, and was there when my IUD was placed, asking what the various medical equipment was for. (My son was too, but he's three months, and was more focused on napping than asking questions. =P The unexpected learning experiences for the children that come with being a single mom...) The only reason she wasn't there to see her brother born and touch his head as he crowned was because my birth with him was unexpected and complicated, to say the least. Our plans were for her to "assist" my OB with delivery (meaning she'd have her hand under her brother's neck next to the OB's hand while his shoulder was delivered,) and for her to cut the cord.

In the event that I have any more children, I fully plan on allowing my son the same privilege of partaking in the birth of his sibling(s.)

These aspects of life shouldn't be shrouded in mystery and confusion, IMO. They're things we all go through and experience and do and say, so why demonize it? The more normal you allow it to be, the less difficult our children will find navigating their own journey.